What I've learned

So after my break up I've kinda learned a few things about myself. I try to do this every now and again. See what I've learned from major things in my life. Since my break up I've learned that I do attract men with problems. I also seem to be drawn to them as well. It's typically the same thing every time. A guy who has low self esteem that doesn't feel like he can be loved. Then I swoop in and I bask in the love. I found myself doing this the other day. I can't be with guys like that because that is my big problem. I have a low self esteem and I need a guy that will be able to love me for me and look past that. I also need to be with a guy that I can be honest with from the get go. My past two relationships have been with guys that I felt I couldn't trust with the real me. Felt like if I let them in they wouldn't love me so I shut them out and eventually drifted apart. So those are the big things I'm on a look out for. I also need to be with a guy that can be sexual. My first ex was sexual, but didn't understand what no meant. My new ex was one who wasn't too interested in sex. I thought it wouldn't bother me but it does. It's not like I need anal sex every night. Sometimes I just need to kiss him deeply and passionately and be held in his arms or hold him in mine. Sometimes I just want to jack him off or give him a blowjob. I shouldn't have to suppress some of those desires and again that's what I felt I had to do with my last ex. I also need a guy who doesn't have so many family obligations. Seems like every time I turned around something was going on with my recent ex's family. Can't handle that again. And of course I need a guy secure enough in himself to be ok with me having friends or a social life. And I think probably the biggest thing I need is a guy that will push me. Not in bed (although sometimes that's what I need), but in life. That won't worry about how me going back to school will affect him, but knowing that it's what I need. It's a tall order for a guy to fill, but I happen to think that Brock (the guy I have my eye on) can do it. In fact he's been doing it while I've been with my ex. He has helped me and been a great friend. So ready to try something more.
For the past few days my most popular post has been my Rocky LaBarre update post. When you think about it that isn't shocking. He is a very hot stud. Plus with his porn career really starting to grow his fan base is starting to crop up more and more. So I can say I was one of the few that liked him from the beginning. The beginning being on theguysite. This is a picture from his video with Allen Silver. Where he does actually get fucked as well. This is one of the many scenes on my list of must sees. Keep on Rocky. We support you.
This is Marc Valliant. I've seen his scene with Branson Gates (another guy site alum). It was pretty hot. He does have a great build on him. Do wish he was a bit hairier though. The name of the video is Bear after all.

I came across this video on youtube thanks to my phone. I was waiting for my comp to load up so I clicked on the youtube app on my iPhone. I typed in pec bounce in the search bar. I found this video and just said wow. It's shot in HD and it's very obvious even on my old iPhone. This is a trick I really want to learn. It's one of those basic tricks that a lot of guys find hot. Least I do.