My thing with leather

First I'd like to apologize for my rambling yesterday. Had tons of things going through my head with no real direction to put them in. Anyway so I was talking to some guys from the social site and one of them is a bottom boy. Well I guess more of a house boy is the correct term. Well actually it's more of a master/slave relationship. He does refer to him as "my master". Well we got talking about sex and what we are into and me I'm more into the passionate sex while he's a bit more into the kinky sex. Well I got thinking. Well I've always wanted to try something like that. It's something I rarely tell people about, so you all are in for a treat. There was a scene in Skuff 2 from Hot House that I absolutely loved. The scene was called walk the dog and was with Dick Wolf and Jacob Scott. In it Dick played the dog and Jacob played the master. Watching that scene I got really turned on. Just the fact that Dick kinda gives up his free will and humanity in this scene to serve Jacob. And he did it really well. And listening to the commands Jacob was giving him just got me really excited. It's one thing I have wanted to explore and always thought I would when I got older. I still to this day want to. I want to role play (and only role play) the whole master/slave scene or owner/dog scene. Don't want it to be a regular thing, but just something to try with someone I trust. I do like being dominated (one thing that was great about being a bottom). I like it because I love to defy it. I love threatening the Alpha male by going against the heard. And that's why I love bigger guys. I love seeing this super butch guy want me to do something and I openly defy him. It's why I argue with my boyfriend all the time. It's why I'm always arguing. As you can see I'm a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, folded into a paradox. I'm independent, but I like being told what to do. I love to be dominated, but I'm not passive. It's something that I think I'm fighting with and it's causing me to lash out at people.
Picturing my owner/dog roleplay I imagine Craig Reynolds being my owner. The reason is that he's a big guy. The way I like them. He does a lot of leather scenes so he fits the profile well. Now the reason why I choose Craig is because he can dominate and then just as quickly be passive. I could see him giving me my "tail" and having me find his bone. Then just as quickly I could become a "naughty dog" and get him all fours and fuck the hell out of him.
I truly go back and forth with Rafael Alencar. I mean the guy is a knock out. Truly amazing body and dick, but at the same time I can't stand him sometimes. It really varies from scene to scene. One minute I think he's so fucking hot and I want to be all over that dick. The next I'm thinking couldn't they find someone else. He seems so lack luster. This is a pic I got from a set that was posted on Gods Amongst Men. In this pic I think he looks the hottest. His dick is up at full mast. No hands holding it. Then he's looking at the camera with these eyes that just pierce you. Like I said I go back and forth.
This is kinda another one of my fantasies (yeah I have a bunch). I always wanted a home gym or to own a gym or be with a guy that owns a gym. The reason being is that we could then workout naked and feel each other up as we are working out. Letting our dicks rise to full strength. Then once we were finished with the weights we'd fuck like no tomorrow. Yeah I'm complicated.