On Saturday (or maybe it was friday) I signed up for adam4adam again. Figured I'd try to expand my circle of friends at least. More guys to talk to and so far it's been....meh. No one has really stood out. Talked to one guy, but he was very secretive and found out this morning he either deleted his account or deleted the conversation we were having. Either way just shows he's not interested so I'm not going to worry about it.
In better news I did start talking to this nice guy on growlr. We've had some fun conversations. He likes to send pictures and yes they did get very X rated. I'm not expecting it to go anywhere. At best something happens and at worse we are just friends who send x rated pictures to each other. So far he's been my only new text pal. I've gotten a few messages back and forth. I'm finally feeling like I can try to talk to guys again without feeling crappy if they don't respond back.
I was also asked out....sort of. Now before you get all high school girly on me, it was not from a guy I'd date. This is a guy who I've "talked to" off and on for getting close to a year. Now you'd think, "oh that's not so bad", but then you clearly didn't notice I put quotes around talked to. I started talking to him in March and from the beginning he made me nervous. This was around the time when I was pissed at Scott and he is one of Scott's exes. He told me to not tell Scott that we are talking. I wasn't going to, but that was weird. Then when it came time for a meeting he stopped talking to me for like 3 months. Then all of a sudden out of the blue texted me again and tried to talk to me. I didn't really give him too much time. And it's been like that for awhile. I think he hits me up when his prospects are gone and it looks like I'm not dating anyone. Not only that, but the guy has been in jail. And it wasn't for something like murder or drugs, but for stealing money. Supposedly he was the treasurer or on the board for some committee in a town an hour away. He talked them into getting a debit card which he used for personal purchases and spent time in jail for it. Yes I know this is hear say, but it's not just one person saying that. He also hit on one of Scott's friends when they were dating. So top all that with the fact that he doesn't talk to me on a regular basis leads me to say we wouldn't be good together. I sadly didn't say no though. What I said is that I don't go out with a guy unless he consistently talks to me for a week. Yes it gave him hope, but I'm not worried. I just gave him the rope and he'll hang himself. He won't talk to me on a regular basis for a week.
With all that said I realized something. I have far too low standards. What I mean is that I let guys get away with a lot. I make a lot of excuses for guys that I shouldn't. I did it with Coach. Oh everyone is ganging up on him so he's lashing out. Yes that's true, but at the same time the guy lied to Ted and got him to say things that he shouldn't have which he told me. I've made excuses for Ted and all the guys I've dated or would like to date. I mean I've done it with the guy I went out on a date with. He said he had a good time and he postponed our 2nd date twice. If you really want to go on a 2nd date with someone you will try to make it work. Even if you are busy. So I'm not going to torture myself with trying to get him to ask me out. I'm moving on. He can chase me. So my days of making excuses for guys are coming to an end. If a guy is truly interested in me then he'll have no problem trying to keep in contact or asking me out on a date or showing up for one. I'm doing my best to learn and mature to not repeat the same mistakes.
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