Got my release

So this morning I finally got to shoot off a load. My boyfriend was being affectionate, but of course it was my workout morning. He knew it and didn't try to stop me. We did cuddle while I was waiting for my pre-workout to kick in. He had to go into work an hour early which gave me about an hour to jack off and still make it to work. Got to try out that new video. Oh boy did that do the trick. Plus got to try out all the new videos I recently downloaded. Plus seemed like I had a good workout. The other weird thing is I'm kinda ready to go again. Usually after a good edging I'm good for the day. Not like I can't go again, I just don't have the desire to go again. I not only have the desire, but probably could shoot a good size load again. Yeah that stuff to increase my muscle mass is working. I also think it's because I don't look down at myself and say eww. Plus seems like I'm slowly but surely getting there. My boyfriend is being very supportive and motivating. He holds onto me like I'm one of the muscle studs I post here, but I know I'm not there yet. I still think he has a way better body then me. Plus I'm starting to see veins a lot more and for a lot longer. Whenever I take this pre-workout it does give an insane pump and vascular look, but it's lasting a lot longer then it use to. Like even now I can see my veins in my forearms and I took that stuff at about 6 this morning. Plus seems like it's just a good day. My boyfriend and I were kinda in a crappy mood yesterday, but this morning that all changed. He was very affectionate this morning and it made getting up all the better. Plus we fixed the crossbow that I use. Turns out that one of the bows was in the wrong spot. Makes a world of difference. It was my add 10 pounds day and boy does it make a difference. Wouldn't be shocked if now I see even more results faster. It's been off since at least February. Yep a lot of good came out today. Speaking of good time for those videos. The 1st is a Zeb Atlas scene. It's the only scene of Zeb fucking a guy. Yeah Adam Killian is forever known in history as the only guy to be fucked by Zeb. Least on camera for all to see. I was ironically looking at some of my files of an early Zeb and boy was he stiff compared to now. Not to mention he's a hell of a lot bigger. If the Zeb now was to do those scenes again I know they'd be super hot. Next is a video from Muscle Hunks. I got this off of it's all gay so I have no clue who the guy is. Just know it's a pretty nice scene. That site can pull out some really hots scenes. Other times not so much. It really depends on the model I think. Lastly is a scene I absolutely love. It stars Jon Vincent and some other guy. I do not know nor care who the other guy is. This scene was the first in the beginning of my Jon Vincent phase. I mean the man talks dirty, has a great voice, great cock, and great body. So here he is in all his glory once again. Oh and here is a little fun fact to tell all your straight, lesbian, and gay guys that at some point in their lives fucked a woman. When I woman squirts, 90% of it is urine and 10% of it is ejaculation fluid. Told that to a friend of mine that use to be married and it grossed him out. Made him even gayer he said.

Yep Horny

Just as I thought I'd be about this time. I am super horny. I swear it's why I couldn't sleep last night. Yeah would love to put it to good use, but my boyfriend is just now feeling better, but we both had to be up early today. Tomorrow probably isn't much better since I'm working out in the morning. Then tomorrow night our favorite shows are on so yeah won't be able to get off until Friday unless he gets frisky tonight or tomorrow. Now yes I could say hey I'm horny let's go at it, but like I said there are days when I want him to take charge. That and it's really hard to get him into the mood sometimes. Wish he was horny all the time like me, but he's not. Probably going to have to be more aggressive because the stuff I am taking does increase the testosterone in my system which is why I'm probably so horny. I did manage to do something productive today. One of my big fetishes is pec bouncing. I love guys that can do that and it really gets me going. So I was looking through my files and I realized I have tons of these files laying around. So I spliced a movie together with just pec bouncing. So when I do get some me time to just jack off I have that to use as stimulation. So the videos for today are two I hadn't seen until today. The first is another Eric Evans clip. It was one of his early works. I've never seen this clip before today. The next is a Japanese movie clip. I always find their stuff interesting. I don't know why. Some of their movies really do it for me. This is one of them. Probably because they are guys that have nice bodies and not way skinny.

Well That's not good

So this weekend I found out that my boyfriend actually is not all that into porn. Yeah that's a real downer. Especially since he was constantly going on about how he liked porn when we met. I'm not going to break up with him over that (because that's a real stupid reason to break up with a guy), but it does make it hard to bond. I mean I burned dvds of porn clips for him and it was not easy since he's really particular about the guys he finds attractive and what he finds attractive. I just know one day I'm going to be horny he's not and I'm just going to say mind if I jack off to porn because I really need to get off. Don't think it's anytime soon since he seems to know when I'm in the mood. I apparently get very affectionate when I'm in the mood. Well it's why I'm trying to get bigger so well he has no reason to not be turned on by me. I want him to go after me sometimes. Not that he doesn't, just he usually does it when I'm half asleep and trying my best to wake up. Not my most shinning moment. I guess it's one of those things I'm going to have to live with. Sucks that we aren't having as much sex as I thought we would. I mean we usually go at it on Saturday, but he was too tired. We did have sex Sunday morning, but he got sick later on in the day so that meant we couldn't even sleep in the same bed. Yeah so that didn't help anything. Probably won't get any tonight and I am really horny. Tomorrow I have to go in early and that's usually my jack off time. So I know by Tuesday night I'll be humping walls. Which actually leads into the videos I'm posting. The first one said that it's "Indian Hunks", but they kinda look more Brazilian to me, but I'm probably wrong. I always like international stuff. I swear it's hotter then a lot of the things made in the US. This one for sure got the blood flowing south. Next is a sean cody clip. Now I personally am not a fan of Sean Cody. There was a time when I really loved all their stuff, then slowly over time they moved more to the type of guys I don't care for so I stopped trying to get them. There are a few now and again that do interest me. This one did. I don't know what really did it, but I actually enjoyed this one and would watch over and over again. So enjoy.

What a day

So yesterday I got swamped at work because 1. I was at the main shop 2. We got shipments coming in 3. I was alone. So yeah that took out everything I had. Then watched a movie with my boyfriend and went off to sleep. Seems like lately I haven't been sleeping as well because I woke up just tired. The worst part was my guy was in the mood and I couldn't seem to wake up enough to really enjoy it. I mean if he had done that yesterday I would have been up, but today I was just tired. He seemed to understand, but I know that has to be something that sits in his mind that I couldn't wake up enough for sex. I plan on making it up to him of course. Tonight we are going to an event just the two of us. We lucked out on some free tickets. We of course didn't mention to anyone. All we need is for one of our relatives to say well why didn't you invite me instead of him. Yeah there is just one member of his family that I swear hates me and does everything they can to avoid me or make people in the family avoid me. It's why last week I didn't get to have my Friday night dinner with him. I always want to tell them off, but you know... not good for the relationship. As for my workouts seem like they are going ok. Still want to put on a lot more mass mainly in the chest and arms. Recently my boyfriend has taken a liking to playing with my chest and arms. Mainly the nipples on my chest and squeezing my bicep. He says that I'm his stud and that I'm nice and solid, but I personally want to get bigger. I won't deny that I'm bigger then I was when I met him, but still want to get bigger. That means pretty soon going to have to join a gym. That means going to have to spend money on it. Plus going to start a testosterone booster. Which for my boyfriend could mean several things. 1. I'm more aggressive at everything. 2. My sex drive goes through the roof. 3. My muscle become huge and I get ripped at the same time. Now just trying to choose one is annoying. I think I have the one I want to try. Seems like it has better reviews and more positive reactions, but again won't know until I take it. I mean I'm kinda taking a testosterone booster now, but it doesn't seem like it's that intense. These are. Well off to go do work and get ready for tonight.

What a day

This morning started off weird. I honestly thought I wasn't going to get up this morning to workout, but my boyfriend had other plans. Probably because I sent him an e-mail saying let's get up and work out. Can't get bodies like these guys laying in bed or reading e-mails. These were the images.


Got to admit I have a point. So I did my chest workout and took my protein leaving a weird taste in my mouth. My pre-workout is orange flavored and the protein is cookies n' cream. I kept burping up this orange cream taste for like 10 minutes. Then I perked up and just was alert. Now I'm feeling a little homesick. Not fun. It's probably because my brothers b-day is coming up soon and I've never missed it. Which reminds me I was going through my e-mail and I swear their was a clip of a guy who looked like my brother. Yeah that's a mood killer. Also think I'm getting bigger. Seems like my shirt is snugger. Then again one of my work shirts is a small the rests are mediums. I also think my testosterone levels are on the rise because spring is in the air. Just feel like I'm hornier then normal. Hopefully I'll get to work some of it off Friday. Got to be in to work early tomorrow and tonight is out night to watch comedies together. Maybe he'll be in the mood, but I doubt it. Seemed tired today. So the video I was going to post yesterday before I got side tracked with work and the day flying by was another clip of Marc West. In this scene he plays a physics teacher (I believe he has an actual degree in chemistry or some form of science. There was an interview in one of the movies he did where he mentioned he worked with a partner to formulate a new type of lube that they actually used on set) and of course his student has a little crush on him. The movie is called First Crush I think. There is another scene I like with Jason Branch at the end. Anyway if he was my science teacher I'd have the exact same crush and hope for the exact same outcome. I mean look at him.

Wow that was neat

So my guy was really horny this weekend. We went at it on both Saturday and Sunday. That's odd for us since we are both kinda 1 night of passion can hold us for at least 2 days. It was probably because of the male enhancement he tried. Then on Sunday he drank his pre-workout to perk up and boy did he ever. I also got measured today to find out my body fat went up to 5.77%. Yeah that's not terrible, but not great either. My guy is getting a big tax refund so he said that I can buy anything that I think might help me get bigger. Yeah of course I don't know what will are won't. The best I can think of is an anabolic pill. Think that's what I'm going to tell him. Other then that not much has gone on with me. My friends are both feeling like they aren't ever going to find guys which they would have by now if they had taken me up on my offer when I was still down there, but ironically I was too young for both of them and one of them is talking to a guy my age. Seems like I'm just really horny lately. No clue why. Oh well. So on to the videos for the day. 1st up is another Eric Evans video. Don't ask me where this one came from. I just know that it's one I had for a long time because I wanted it for a long time. Again he's looking pretty big. The next is a scene from one of the Skuff movies. It stars Arpad Miklos and some other guy. Miklos was another one of those guys I had a crush on for the longest time. Yeah noticing a pattern.

Well I'm a happy camper

Yesterday I just had a good evening. Me and my man sat on the couch and watched the world's strongest man competition (some of those guys are really hot and very nicely built) then went to bed where we just went at it. I mean we were like two wild animals grunting and licking and sniffing each other. Just seems like we were both finally at a place where our bodies look or are getting closer to how we want them to look. For him it's because he's taking this growth hormone booster and it's working. I mean he smells incredible. He looks amazing. Me I think it's just because I finally started to accept my body and stop being so hard on myself. There was for sure a mess that we had to clean up. I swear his dick has also gotten thicker. Or something. Sure did shoot quite a bit. I think I need to start on that stuff. I even woke up a bit horny. Ironically my boyfriend told me that he could hear the couple above us going at it. Good thing I didn't because the sound of sex turns me on just as much as seeing it. Although women seem to just over do it. I mean they are always screaming it seems. Least this one was a screamer because he only heard her saying "oh yeah, oh yeah". As for me I think I'm going to try to get some more tonight. Now onto the videos I found. The first movie is the 1st scene from the Pharaoh's Curse. I think it's just a good scene. All the guys have nice build and it just kinda flows. The next are two very muscular guys in the park. Got to love it.

Weird day

It's been a weird day all day today. I had this weird ass ream and I swear somehow thread from my pillow punctured my skin and I had to pull it out. Anyway parts of the dream keep playing in my head. It wasn't a sex dream just a weird dream. Anyway me and my boyfriend worked out this morning trying a new pre-workout which sucked.Well I had a so so workout, but not the point. Lately I've been getting boners around him a lot. I mean it's not a big deal since he is my boyfriend, but it is odd because you'd think after a certain point you wouldn't get boners everytime you see your boyfriend or he gives you a kiss or hug. I have no idea why it just suddenly started happening. Well maybe I can get him to work on the "problem" tonight. That reminds me I was on the web and found two images that well peaked my interest.Thefirst one peaks my interest because it's former (I think) bodybuilder Aaron Maddron. I had such a crush on the guy. I mean he seriously has just that look. The look that you can't help but swoon a little bit if he was to smile at you. Not to mention he is in GREAT shape. Would love to help him oil up one day. The other is just because of the pose really. Yes bodybuilders use that pose, but usually they don't pull up their posers so much. Usually it's a slight lift where the poser is just a little bit off that line that looks like your pelvic bone. Wouldn't mind if a bodybuilder were to do that and the straps were to come off. Wouldn't mind at all. So I got two more videos to post. The first is Vince Ferelli and Robert Van Damne in a video called "Oops". This was the first time Vince did anything with another guy. Yeah it was on my hard drive forever, but had to save it on a disc because new stuff was coming in. Kinda is a little cheesey though. The next is Zeb Atlas and Matthew Rush in the final scene from Bachelor party...or was it Groom something. Either way I didn't really like the movie other then this scene. The only downside is Zeb didn't suck Matthew, but hey he's "straight". I swear he has to be at least bi because he is way too good at fucking guys.

It's green day

My day so far has been well a headache. Too many things going wrong and don't really want to get into it. Anyway yesterday I was just exhausted. I ended up playing a game instead of blogging and I didn't feel like blogging. I managed to get in an edging session which was long over due. I almost didn't workout because I was so horny. My boyfriend kept trying to wake me up, but I just wanted to play. Anyway it was a really intense session. My dick was bothering me the rest of the day. Guess I jacked too hard or something. I couldn't even look at porn because I felt no desire. Did get me to start thinking a lot though. Again I was watching porn and thinking omg I'll never get to do that stuff again, but I reminded myself that I didn't want to do that stuff when I was single. I have a man who makes me so happy to be with him. Everyday I miss him more and more when I'm working. I love cooking for him and watching movies with him. We do things for and with each other. I mean not many boyfriends would wake you up at 6 to workout. I was also thinking about something. I was surfing through blogs people follow and I found one called muscle chubs or something like that. So as I was looking through it I started thinking. I keep setting up how I should look compared to bodybuilders and porn stars who are basically suppose to look at good as possible. See a power lifter is pretty muscular, but they never have to cut fat. So sometimes they just look like strong fat guys, but if they were to cut and work on the size of a body part instead of the strength then they would be like a bodybuilder. So I need to stop being so hard on myself for not seeing results that are that dramatic. I mean I clearly am gaining strength so the muscle is working and getting stronger. Well anyway that's pretty much been my 2 days. So I figure I'll leave this post with 3 videos. First is a scene from El Rancho which is one of my all time favorite porn movies. I love the international stuff. Seems more passionate then the stuff here. Next is a scene from Muscle Man Moving Company starring Derek Steele and Jim Slade. Derek was again one of my favorites then all of a sudden he lost tons of mass when I saw a clip of him from the Jimmy Z muscle show and then he just disappeared. Lastly is a clip from a movie that I don't know. I use to have this file and watch it a lot. Just something about it that gets my blood flowing south.

That was fun

Well I had a fun Sunday. I think it's mainly because of the fact that me and my boyfriend were off and it was just a nice day outside. It could have been because last night I got some. Or it could be that springs is right around the corner. Or maybe it's because I finally have a little self confidence in my body image. I did a chest workout yesterday and I thought it went pretty well. After which my boyfriend took a nap because he was helping his family with stuff and it drained him. After which we proceeded to look in our closets because I mentioned that they have Spanxs for men. So we go looking because my boyfriend thinks he has something like that only to find he doesn't, but he did have some shirts he didn't want to wear anymore. Mainly they were sleeveless shirts or shirts he didn't feel comfortable wearing. One of which was this really tight muscle shirt. So I said I'd wear it and yeah it was tight. He seemed to like the look. I don't know yesterday just seemed like I looked in the mirror and I didn't see a skinny guy with a gut. So we went out to target to look for stuff where he found some NICE briefs. Now I should mention I was kinda jerking off now and again during the day because well I hadn't since Tuesday I want to say. Anyway so we jump in the bed and of course he's naked meaning he's in the mood. Boy was he ever in the mood. Then again so was I. We finished up and I mean I was sweating and out of breathe. So yeah it was a good day.

Ugh Great day

Today has been another really boring day. Did have an exciting night...least in my dreams. Yeah from what I can remember I was in a scene from a movie called Opposite Attraction. I was working with the porn star known as Walter Soares. From what I remember when I was obsessed with him he is a Brazilian who starred in two Buckshot films along with some other productions from marco studios. Now he's a big guy (or was don't know what he's doing now) and like I said I was obsessed. I wanted everything that he did. Of course easier said then done since most of his stuff is on VHS tapes and hard to find copies of. I'm in a few movie sharing groups and I've always thought of requesting some of his stuff, but never did. These were some of the only images I could find of him.

Needless to say that they aren't the best photos. Anyway it was a pretty intense dream because I woke up to me cumming in my briefs. Yeah that was fun. Lucky for me I was wearing briefs otherwise my boyfriend would have never let me hear the end of it. Which reminds me of stuff I found yesterday. See I use to regularly visit gymjox.com because there was always something there. Now it's like a ghost site that hasn't had an update since early January. Well you know that guy Scott Hall. Apparently he posts on the site every now and again. Now let's get something straight. I'm not really a fan of the guy. He just strikes me as a pompous ass that is way too into himself. I mean his videos are just a bunch of random clips put together. That annoys me because when I'm jacking off I don't want to be flashing through several images. Wish he would do a normal video and not a collage of stuff. Anyway so Scott Hall is ranting on the site about some guy that is apparently stalking him. Well guess what you put yourself out in the open so of course you are going to have some stalkers. If you want to see his rant it's still up on the site under comments for the happy new years post. Yeah can't stand him, but my boyfriend loves him. Well back to work for me.

Not the best Friday

It started off good enough. Me and my boyfriend did an early morning workout (and I mean an actually morning workout). The pre-workout didn't seem to kick in like it use to, but I still feel it's affects now. Feel more focused, but that's not the point. Just seems like we are both having slow days. Plus his mom's glasses broke again so we have to get them fixed (easier said then done since we get home late). Just seems like on a day when we are suppose to break 50 degrees that it would just be a better day. He's always said he's had crappy luck and some days I see it. I really wish I could do something about it, but it's not really up to me. It's up to the customers to start shopping locally again. Also seems like there isn't much new stuff or exciting stuff getting posted on blogs either. Plus I'm still waiting for another chapter on this gay erotic story I've been following which hasn't had something new since January. I mean reading those stories usually kills about an hour. Not because I read that slow, but because so much happens whenever I try to read one. Not to mention I have a hard time focusing on a task for too long. Plus I came across a few blogs and none of them had anything to offer me or make me stop there on a daily basis. Just wish I had a job where I could provide a comfortable living for me and my boyfriend. Just think he deserves to have something go his way. Just seems he always gets the raw end of the deal no matter what. Well obviously me ranting and complaining isn't going to do anything. It could be worse. Well there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is Saturday. Well I thought I'd leave this post with more videos. The first is one where a guy with a NICE build jacks off and fucks a watermelon. I've always wondered what that's like. Every now and again you see a porno where some guy is fucking a fruit. Well if I ever get any spare money I'll have to try it. The next is one of an early Tom Katt. Don't ask me what film it's from. I just know that it was the Tom Katt before he got huge and obviously before he started saying he was straight and he only did it to pay for his steroid addiction, but he's now found god. Yeah because if you look at all his work it looks like a guy just paying for his roid addiction. There are a lot of gay for pay actors out there and you can usually tell who they are, but well he seemed to do it out of pure enjoyment, but hey if he wants to deny it go for it.

Always wanting what you can't have

So I was doing my typical rounds of hitting up blogs on blogspot. I of course get caught up reading different guy experiences. Then eventually I go aww I don't get to have that now. I can't just go out and pick up a random guy and have my way with him or vice versa. Then I realize I always want what I don't or can't have. For instance I wanted a boyfriend for the longest time then when I got one I was looking for a way out. Granted that was with my ex and we had other issues but still same thought. Then when I was single again I wanted to have a boyfriend. So I realized I'm probably always going to feel like this, but there are things that my boyfriend does that makes me not want to be single less and less. For instance this morning I was suppose to get up early to workout. My boyfriend is a morning guy and I'm a let me sleep until 1 pm and maybe I'll get up guy. So as he's trying to get me up he's massaging me and I kinda start grabbing stuff. I notice he's got a raging hard on and so I of course play with it. I was going to get up, but well I was having too much fun playing with my boyfriend's dick. Needless to say my back and shoulder workout turned out to be a hip and ass workout. Now obviously if I was single I couldn't have that. I couldn't have a guy waking me up to go workout with him. I would rarely have a guy over all night in the first place. Plus the hooking up really isn't my thing. When I was "hooking up" it was more for a steady fuck buddy hoping he'd be my bf. I really can't do the one night stand type thing. Not in my personality. Not to mention that I wouldn't have someone to watch movies with. We rented a movie to watch tonight. I wouldn't have that. I love that about being in a relationship. I have someone that I look forward to seeing everyday. Not just for sex, but for everything life throws at me. If I have a bad day he's always there. When I have a good day he shares it with me. Yeah I may not have a blog full of stories of the countless guys I've hooked up with or will hookup with, but I will have one full of stories about the guy I love. And the guys I lust after. Well I guess back to work and trying to workout tomorrow.

Yep it's Hump Day

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Waiting for spring

With it only 11 days away and living up in Wisconsin, I can't wait for spring. It's been a cold cold winter. I know spring is coming because I see joggers out. Which means soon there will be sweaty guys shirtless jogging. This will be the first summer that me and my boyfriend will get to be together. He might even fly back with me to Texas to meet my folks and see another state. Depends on finances and if I can get the time off work. This morning I got to spend a little time with my friend between my legs. Wasn't a long edging session like I like, but it was time to play. This morning I just woke up and was kinda horny. Know I don't get to play tonight since I have to get up early tomorrow for a meeting so I got my old sheet and went at it. Plus I wanted to watch some clips I got off some sites and a new movie as well. Both of which won't need to be deleted. Other then that not much else is new. So one of my many fantasies (and I do mean many) is working out and having a muscular guy just all over me in the gym. I don't know why that's one of mine, but it is. Just having a sweaty, pumped, muscle man all horned up in the gym and wanting me to help him out is a real turn on. I bring this up because I happened to stumble on a video of Eric Evans and Brent Baines from one of their movies. I think this is a scene from The Gym by Titan. It was one of my favorite movies because it 1. had hairy guys 2. had muscular guys 3. had hairy muscular guys 4. had some of my favorite porn stars at the time and 5. was when I really liked Titan movies.

Jammed pack weekend

So Saturday was my day off with just me. I had a GREAT edging session. Got to watch a new dvd and just have at it. No interruptions except the occasional phone call from the boyfriend saying he missed me. Finished earlier then I would have liked, but hey it happens. Surprised I lasted as long as I did since the night before a certain someone got a little alcohol in his system which lead to him being all over me. So I had a really good two days. Then Sunday happened. Got to sleep late and got my laundry and shopping done early. I wanted to try this new pre-workout that the store got in since well I'm the guinea pig on every product almost. I had a really good leg workout. It made me really really hyper though. Didn't seem to wear off for awhile. The sad part is that we went to visit my boyfriend's mother so I really had to make sure I wasn't bouncing off the walls. Once we finished there we went to Wendy's grabbed a burger and fries and watched the 3 stooges. Then we kinda fell into the lovers trance. You know the one where you just can't stop looking at the other. Then it hit me that yesterday was our anniversary. Now yeah it's only our 5 month anniversary, but that's 2 months longer then my other relationship. Plus I really think I've fallen for the right guy. I mean he's so sweet and funny and just makes my life amazing. I don't know what I would do without him. I think it's because we got to know each other before we started officially dating. I wasn't even sure we were going to make it. We just seemed to fight a lot then just seems like it magically went away. I can't think of the last time we had a real blow up at each other. Yes one of us may have been cranky one day, but we haven't gotten into a real yelling match which is great. We even worked out together this morning. Which he loved because he's a morning person and well I'm not. I figured you know what he compromises with me so often and it's usually more of what I want then what he wants so I'll do this for him. He seemed to like it since he got to tease me and grab my arm multiple times. Yeah I really love that man. Don't ever want to give him up. He's the reason why I workout so hard. I mean I don't need to be huge (although that would rock), but maybe something more like this is possible for me. Now because of my body type I might have a bit more bulk, but I mean Ricky Sinz has a very nice body. Well anyway guess I should get back to work now.

Yeah Did it again

So I had yet another sex dream. I don't know what's causing it. Well could be this GH booster stuff I've been taking plus the testosterone booster. Don't know anyway in the first part of my dream which involved floating clouds and characters from the anime one piece I was chosen by Al Parker to save the US and get it to where it needed to go. Yeah don't ask me why it was Al Parker. Nothing sexual about that part, just thought it was worth noting. The sex part of the dream was a Foursome. The weird part of that was that my music teacher from elementary school was there. Apparently she was a drag queen. So she or should I say he took off the wig and dress and stuff and was a SMOKING hot guy. I mean just wow. Now another guy was in there, but I don't really remember much about him. The last guy was the porn star Ricky Sinz. Yeah I think he's quite a looker. Ricky actually reminds me of Caesar. Mainly because he just seems like one of those people that's overtly sexual. I just know people like that in real life and they are a BLAST to hang out with. Anyway I digress. So we kinda started together then I drifted away with my former music teacher now turned into a SMOKING hot guy. The dream actually ended before I got to do more then enter my teacher. Woke up to my boyfriend being all snuggly. It was just like I said weird because I haven't seen anything with Ricky Sinz in it since I watched that youtube video of his photo shoot with Margert Cho. Well back to why I like the guy. He just gives me this impression that he's not afraid to be who he is. Again the type of guy I like. It's really hard for me to follow a porn star that I don't feel like has a good personality. Like I still can't really watch Erik Rhodes. I couldn't figure out why for the longest time then I stumbled across his blog. Turns out he's pretty depressed and I think that's what turned me off to him. Not like I've talked to the guy, but just something about him when I watched him. Well anyway that was my dream. Well good thing tomorrow I get a day off by myself to play plus get some later on that night. Or I'll get some tonight. We'll see.

More Revelations

So again I'm over here analyzing myself. Well I was talking to one of my friends I met on man hunt when I was back at college. He was a really great guy. I mean one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet on that site. He was honest with me flat up. Can't even say that about my ex. Can say that about my current boyfriend, but we also didn't meet on manhunt. Anyway I think through or friendship and several hook ups I developed feelings for him. I mean when he would hug me I'd get this raging boner. I mean he's a good looking guy and he's tall and yeah he's a great pillow buddy, but we both agreed that the age difference was too much to even bother starting a relationship. Plus he had tons of personal stuff going on with him. Well I was catching up with him on im and yeah there is still something there. Even just talking to him can get me boned up. Does that mean I'd leave my boyfriend if he said he wanted to be in a relationship with me no I wouldn't leave the guy I have. My current boyfriend is great and I really can't ask for anything more from him. Anyway so we were catching up and he now has some facial hair (another thing I love on guys) and shorter hair so I was picturing it and yeah I got a boner again. Then he said if I come down to visit with my guy that we should have a fleshlight jerk party. Yeah that would be fine with me, but I know my boyfriend wouldn't like that. He's really picky about his guys and my friend wouldn't fly with him. Besides my boyfriend can be really spontaneous when he wants to. We usually go at it on a Friday or Saturday night because we both work a lot. Kinda the only time to not worry about getting up early is on those days. Well he started acting up and well we ended up going at it. I slept like a log last night. Anyway I realize that I'm a sucker for a guy that has a great personality. He could be one of those 4 guys I posted yesterday, but if he doesn't treat me right or other people right it will just turn me off. Don't like guys that are full of themselves, don't like guys that are asses to waiters and waitresses, don't like a guy that so obsessed with his body that we can't have a conversation not around it. Guess I have weird taste in guys. Not many guys would fit that description.

What makes me tick

Since today has been a slow day at work, I was surfing blogspot to see what other blogs are out there. After seeing all of them it kinda made me wonder. Why do I like the type of guys I like. The type I like tends to be about 30-45 years of age (or older depending on the shape they are in), muscular, and hairy. That's just of course the physical aspect. So I kinda thought about it. Well the older is kinda simple and muscular part is kinda easy. My dad use to subscribe to Muscle and Fitness and I would of course read it while he was. When I got older I actually took a few and hid them away. Most of the guys in that magazine were older then me in their mid twenties to early 40's and all were pretty buff. So that kinda inspired that. Now I don't know what inspired the love of hairy guys. Now that could be because of guys like Eric Evans and Tom Katt. They were buff and hairy. Well Tom Katt off and on, but still. So I guess I kinda associated muscle and hairy together. The age thing seemed to be more focused as I started seeing clips of porn stars. I hated seeing the twink stuff because it reminded me of me or my friends. Even to this day I don't find many guys in my age group as sexy. They tend to be older then me. There are porn stars who's work I never touched until they reached a certain age. Matthew Rush is one of them. I won't touch any of his earlier stuff, but things he does now I love. I know there are guys that are kinda the other way around and maybe when I get to their age I might turn around and say I want younger guys. I guess because so many guys that reach a certain age let themselves go. I mean there are just rolls after rolls on some of those guys. Not to mention everything sags. Well here are just some pics who I find very attractive and I think are at the perfect age.

These guys are perfect pillow buddies. Each guy has something that I like about them. Bo Dixon is hairy and really hot. I could just lay on him all day...and do other things. Zeb Atlas just kinda reminds me of home. I know that sounds weird, but I listen to him talk and he just does. He has great arms for holding on to and a really great chest. Now Tyler Saint is a little different. As you can see he's not as big as the other guys, but there is just something about him. Whenever I watch him I can't not look at him. He just seems to have the total package. Now Skye Woods is another one that I mean it's just kinda obvious. He has a great chest. A great ass, and he is amazingly flexible. Plus he has that face that you would just love to kiss. Now these are only four of the many porn stars I've fawned over since I first started watching porn. Guess this is only a little bit of what makes me tick. Guess tomorrow I'll look on the inside as well as out.

Yeah It's Over

So yesterday I put as my status that I was shopping with my bf because I was shopping with my bf and everyone on my buddy list knows I'm gay. Well I kinda forgot that my Ex is on my buddy list. Well that and I was hoping he wouldn't see it or if he did that he wouldn't be an ass about it. Yeah so much for that happening. So I get back and I have an im from my Ex asking if I meant boyfriend by bf. I said yeah. Then he asks if I'm ready for that. Ok let me paint a picture for you. We've been broken up since June. That makes it 8 months that we've been broken up. So basically this is none of his business. So I said ....yeah this conversation is over. Then he says I hope he is a cheater and a liar like you. Clearly not something that someone that was over me would say. So I said don't ever im me again. We are done. And then he went on to say some more stuff, but I really wasn't paying attention because I was busy blocking his username. Needless to say it's blocked now. I also removed any connection between us on facebook. Right now the only thing I want to hear from him is an apology. Even he does apologize I'm not talking to him again. Like I said it's been 8 months and he's going on and on about how he's embracing change in 2010 and how he's making so much money at his new job. I'm sorry, but that to me sounded like he moved on. Anyway I didn't get much sleep last night. Was worried that he'd do something stupid like fly up here and shoot me or my boyfriend. It's kinda far fetched, but at the same time not really. I mean this guy constantly was going on about how he knows how to shoot a gun and I know how jealous he is. He clearly has the money so I'm just hoping that I never see him again and that this is over. Guess I'll know in a few weeks and months huh. Seriously wish he would have just moved on by now. Not like I didn't try to remain friends. Just made it pretty much impossible by constantly calling me my nickname. I guess I should have been more forceful in pushing away from him and standing my ground.