Let it go

Just fyi that has nothing to really to do with my relationship with Bear. We watched the movie Frozen and that song has been in my head all weekend and today. Well I went over to Bear's on Friday and he was suppose to work until 6. Well he got off early because he switched with someone so he was actually waiting for me. I got a key from him last time and I put some of my stuff down then went to get more only to find they were gone. His nephew had said he thought that Bear was at his dad's which I thought was weird. And there he is hiding in his room. So we had gyros for dinner then watched Frozen. Afterwards he saw his sister called and we had to go over and help his dad. Well needless to say none of them believed that we were watching frozen. Until Saturday when we mentioned we still had the dvd and his youngest nephew loves that movie so they borrowed it. So back to Friday. Well Bear topped me again (he's getting better at it) and something amazing happened. He was fucking me and I couldn't help, but shoot. So I came and he was licking the head and I actually shot again. That's right I came twice. As if I didn't already know I love that guy, that did it. And now he's telling everyone that he did it and honestly he should. Hell if I made him cum twice while I fucked him I'd do the same. And needless to say he's looking to top a whole lot more. Now I have to make sure he doesn't forget that I want to pound his sexy ass too. That was the big thing this weekend. We went to a quinceañera for one of his cousins, but that was so exhausting. His nephews where acting up so bad.

 As if you guys didn't already know, I'm a big chest guy. I love a nice set of pecs on a guy. This guy meets that. I don't know this guy's name so don't ask. If I recall right he was on powermen, but again don't remember the name.

 Some of you that lived in the US like 15 years ago then you probably remember the Animorphs novels. This reminds me of the X-rated version. I will say this one looks better than the other one I saw. It looks like an almost perfect. Now how can you hid that dick in jeans? I mean damn.

 I don't know how authentic this photo is. The dog doesn't look like he actually belongs in the photo, but never the less it's adorable. Something sexy about a guy caring for an animal.

 For my ass loves. Need I say more?

Know that feeling

On Friday I'll be getting to see bear again. Now this is going to sound really weird, but I'm not looking forward to it for the sex part. Don't get me wrong, I love to have sex with him, but you know that you can't have sex the entire weekend. You can try, but the body just won't have it. Anyway what I'm really looking forward to is just to be in each others arms. I want to just snuggle next to him and rub his beautiful chest. I love laying down and joking with him about everything and anything. I love laying back and looking at his phone at hot guy pics he has. I can honestly say if Bear was to say he wasn't in the mood for sex I'd be ok with him as long as he snuggled with me. I can't say I've really truly had that feeling before. With other guys I enjoyed the snuggling, but I wanted the sex first or it used to lead into sex. I can't say I would have been happy just snuggling. I think the reason is that connection we have. I love him and he loves me. Sex for us is just an extension of that. If we just jack off in front of the other that's fine because we are doing it together. Now luckily we are both still young and sex kinda comes naturally to us. I just like the feeling knowing I don't have to have sex to keep him interested. Having sex with him is just one of those nice little extra bonuses. That's just the type of relationship I like. One where sex is great, but not the main glue to the relationship which has been how a lot of my relationships have been. Sex and sexually attraction really was the only thing going.

 This is a photo of Mack Sf. If you like big strong daddies then well you'd like Mack. He actually has a website, macksf.com, where he sells his own videos. You can also find them on some pay per view sites. This is kinda how he fucks if you've never seen a video of his. He's very aggressive and strong. I wish he'd come out with some new videos. Love to see him taking care of another boy. Or hell another porn star. He's worked with Steve Parker and Steve Titpig Hurley. He does bareback and since it's gone so mainstream I'm sure a lot more guys are willing to work with him.

 This was the final scene of a Colt movie called Couples. Least I think that was the name of it. The guy squatting down is Jake Andrews. This was shortly after he came back to porn. The big guy is Canon. He only did two videos if I recall right sadly. This was a very quiet scene (not a lot of talking between the two) but it was so hot.

 This is Sweet Williams sucking dick at a gloryhole in the move Ace's Place. I think that was the name of it. It was basically a gay bar that had a lot of guys dressed up. The gloryhole scene was kinda an on going thing. It was a very ADD movie, but they did have some hot guys.

Ok I suck at names, but I believe this is Marc Angelo. If I'm wrong please to get upset. Like I said I suck at names. I have to see a guy several times for the name to stick. Plus he's tanner in this than I remember so that's making me less sure I'm right. He's just yum.

Spring fall relationships

There are many names for a relationship where one is older than the other. The point is that I think they can work. The thing is that it requires a certain dynamic. For example look at Cameron Cruise and Anthony DeAngelo. The two have a 10 year difference I believe and it works for them. There was a couple I saw on Bear where There was actually a 26 year difference. They had been together for quite some time. From my experience it depends on the maturity level. I'm bringing this up because I've seen a lot of Daddy son porn. Yes that's hot and we've all looked at older guys lustfully, but how many of you actually tried to date one? Well as I've stated all guys I've dated have been older. Only the last two have been a more "reasonable" age difference. I've dated 1 guy younger than me and I couldn't stand it. The problem with the younger guy was that we were on different places maturity wise. I say I'm immature, but on a lot of things I'm an "old soul". I was only like 2 years older than him, but he seemed just so much younger than me. He really didn't seem like he wanted a relationship. He just seemed to want the sex. I always got along with older guys because I could have these in depth conversations. I kinda know what I want out of life. Guys in their 20's are still kinda finding their way. They haven't really matured until about 26-29 and that's just the lucky ones. I know guys in their 30's and 40's that are single because they don't have the maturity to be in a relationship. So basically what I'm saying is that younger guys can date older guys if the younger guy is cable of having conversations not related to sex.
That's for the younger guys. For the older guys they have to be flexible. One of the problems I had when I dated older guys (as in more than 5 year difference) was that they were pretty stable. There was no flexiblity. They had a house or career and showed no signs of possibly moving. Basically I had to mold my life around them. I'm not saying that you can't have a career and home, but just don't expect that this young guy is going to focus his career choices or school choices on you. Don't go in expecting him to move in with you right away. Let him make that choice. We kinda know that there is a good chance that we will be moving into your place. The keyword there is YOUR place. It's going to make us feel like a second class citizen basically. Also know that there is a chance we'll want to be a dad at some point. Now that one does depend on the age difference and how old he is. If he's in his 40's and doesn't have kids then there is a good chance he doesn't want to be a dad. A guy in his 20's is probably going to want to be a dad.
Now this is just a cliff notes version of an older - younger relationship. There are other things that make a relationship, but these are some of the big things I've seen. The younger guy has to have maturity. Yes the guy knows you are younger, but be able to hold a mature conversation. Don't throw a tantrums or do what kids do. For older guys be flexible. We know that you guys have your possessions and your ways, but you need to be able to add your guy into your life. That means allowing them into your life and doing some things they may want to do.

 This is Jon Galt. He's one of the porn stars that I had a major crush on. He's 5' 8" I believe. He has always had this amazing body and just a sexy daddy. Wish he would come back for at least one more video. Well I should say a video involving another guy. He did something for paragon men if I recall right.

 This guy went by Hudson on Sean Cody. Lately I've been seeing a lot of his pictures everywhere. He did a solo and an action video with Sean Cody. In the action video they shaved him. As you can see that's a major shame. He isn't gorilla hairy so I don't see why they shaved him. It gives him this sexy ruggedness that I think a lot of guys are starting to want to see.

 Dirk Caber playing a cop. Need I say more?

I'm sure you guys have also seen sexy guys in kilts. If not then well you are missing out. That's what makes this picture hot for me. Guys in kilts tend to be pretty rugged. There is nothing girly about a Scott in a kilt. Look up the highland games.

A great few days

So Bear came over Tuesday afternoon. We went to Applebees and ate with Ted and Ned. It was a fun night. Wednesday we went to the gym and had a great day of being in bed and making dinner. We also facetimed with his sister and niece and nephew. Oh that was a fun conversation. He's 4 and it's kinda obvious. We laughed about that conversation for awhile. We snuggled big time that night then woke up early to hit the gym. I also made muffins. The big thing about Thursday is that he topped me. This was the first time I was officially topped since...well a long time ago. I tried to get fucked by Buck, but well he's never been with a guy so it was hard to really get adjusted to him. Plus he didn't really talk me through it. Bear was so patient and gentle with me. Well as gentle as you can be putting a hard dick in an ass. It was so amazing. It just helped make our relationship more versatile. He was so worried about not being a good top and I was so worried about being a bad bottom that well it worked out pretty decent. He didn't shoot within 2 seconds. I do need to work on relaxing more so I can really enjoy it and so can he. And next week I'll be going over to his place.

 And this is Coach Mickey or Mike or Mikey depending on what you are watching or reading. He does more photo modeling than porn modeling. He just looks so sexy.

 The guy getting rimmed goes by a couple of different names. The one he most recently used was Moose. I think he was called Dino something at one point. He didn't do a lot of porn, but he is memorable in what he did do. As you can see the dude is huge. He often bottoms, but in the last thing he did he topped.

 I really need to get a fleshlight. Mainly to work on my stamina. I'm getting better now that I'm getting actual practice with a guy who actually wants to see me. If you've never had a fleshlight you are missing out. If you've wondered what it was like to top then you need to borrow one. The one I had was tighter than a lot of guys I swear.

This is a photo of Rocky LaBarre who is still my porn boyfriend. Bear does know about him. I believe this is from the video he did with Adam Russo. Sadly he has had some personal issues. I don't know what they were nor does it matter. He's going to try to get back into the swing of things and I wish him the best of luck. I admit that normally I would be all gossipy, but well I respect Rocky. He can reveal what he wants to on his time. Those of us not in porn get to do that so he deserves the same respect.

Clarification

So awhile ago I made a comment about understanding open relationships and I had a comment made that I meant to clarify. Me and Bear are not in an open relationship. What I was saying is that being in the relationship with Bear has helped me to better understand those in an open relationship. Me and Bear are basically in a long distance relationship. We are not a huge distance away, but we only get to see each other at best once per week and it has to be an overnight since it's about an hour and a half long car trip. That distance does require a level of trust. We met on Growlr after all. If you don't know what that is then let me explain. It's basically a hook up app geared more towards bears and chasers. Like I said that requires us to trust each other. We haven't gotten rid of the app. I will say I got rid of scruff. We have a connection which I can't see replacing. I can honestly say if we were to have an open relationship (the keyword being IF) I could understand how they work. The pair have a deep level of trust and a deep connection in order to not worry about your partner running off with someone.

 This is Austin Wolf and Abele Palace. The two look really good together. Abele has the build of Austin, but on a smaller frame. Abele played a bike delivery guy dropping off some photos for Austin who happens to work as a porn photographer. Yeah totally jealous of Abele.

 I'm a big romantic. I love pictures of guys kissing. Now that being said look at the guy on the right hand side. The dude is JACKED! I mean that's a guy who could get any guy he wanted. When you date someone like that you kinda feel super special that they want to be with you. Love to be in those arms.

 This is Jim Ferro a.k.a. the guy who popped Samuel Colt's on camera cherry. Jim is a trainer and also done some bodybuilding. Sadly he's not on twitter anymore. Every now and again a video with him in it comes out. Recently one from the hidden parole video site had one with him looking as big as ever.

This is Bo Dixon. I'm amazed at the number of Bo Dixon photos I find. After Paging Dr. Finger he made it sound like he was done with modeling. Obviously that's not true. For that we are grateful.

Quick recap

So short version why I'm doing a quick recap is Ted's daughter was in a wreck and I'm going to go drive her to the chiropractor later today. That means that Ted will be home and I can't post my naughty blog post then. First I want to answer some comments. Well kinda. Basically I do read the comments, but I only comment on them if it's something I want to address right away. For instance if someone miss read something I posted or something that really catches my attention. The rest of the time I'll either address it here or think it's not a comment that needs me to comment since it didn't really have a question. I was going to address some today, but well can't right now.
Over the weekend I spent time with Bear. It was such a great weekend. I got in late on Valentines and we watched a movie and snuggled up. Saturday we went to the gym then to where he works part time in a tattoo shop. Went to see one of his 3 older sisters after that then back to his place. All this time it's snowing which is a pain in the ass. It did finish early enough that we got to go the a gay bar that he frequents with two of his friends. Had a great time. My throat is a little sore from all the yelling. Sunday we just stayed at his place and played Super Smash Bros Brawl until I had to leave. Then when I got home Ted and his bf were going to go out with Ned and his bf. Well we all went out for dinner, shoveled Ted's daughters place, and back home for the Walking Dead. Then I just passed out. Oh and Bear knows I have a blog, but he hasn't seen it. Mainly because the last time a guy I was dating knew about this blog and read it I felt like I couldn't get things off my chest. And if I could have then it probably wouldn't have lasted as long.

 Now this is a nice vintage photo. It's clearly suppose to be a guy dressed as a Native American warrior riding on a horse. I must say I would love to see that riding down the street.

 I've always thought about getting a cock piercing, but I know that unless you cum a lot it kinda dribbles out. Plus most guys are going to ask you to take it out before you fuck, but man do they draw your attention well.

 Jesse Jackman is so sexy. Bear actually follows him on facebook. That's how I learned he's married...well "married" to Dirk Caber. They look so adorable together. Plus Jesse has such an interesting curve. Bear says he'd love to get fucked by a dick like Jesse's. Me I'd kinda be a bit worried. Mine curves to the left (which bear loves), but downwards just kinda scares me. I'd gladly fuck him though.

I don't know this guy's name. I do know that he grew this out for a role. He can also apparently suck himself. I have no problem with guys with beards this bushy especially if they have the face for it.

Here we go again

So me and Ted were talking last night and he told me some of the concerns he had with the relationship he's currently in. Last weekend the guy came over to our place to spend the weekend. Well he's kinda scatter brained. He doesn't really stop and think plans through. He was suppose to be at our place around 6 and didn't show up until after 8 because he left late. Well there were other concerns that needed to be addressed so Ted sent off an e-mail. Well the guy responded this morning to inform Ted that he won't be able to attend the Valentine's Banquet with me and bear like we had originally planned because he had to work. Well in the e-mail he mentioned he found this out on Sunday. So the fact that he found out about this Sunday and didn't call up or let Ted know ahead of time urks me. So that means Ted's not going anywhere this weekend. I can honestly say that I think this is the beginning of the end. Which means that I'll once again be in a relationship after Ted's has broken up. I don't know if it's just Ted not taking his time (even though they talked for over a week before they met and had several 3 hour phone conversations), or if he's picking up way damaged guys. I know he's just tired of dealing with this and I can't blame him.

 So what if Wonder Woman was Wonder Man. I think that's a safe idea of what he may look like. The funny thing is that female super heroes often wear a lot less than the men. Which is a shame because I think the men would be more fun to look at.

 I can not remember this guy's name ever. He did a few porn vids. I know he's an Aussie, but that's all I can remember. I know he's on Bigmuscle. Just don't remember his username.

 We've all done something similar to this. When you make your dick twitch to really tease your guy.

I don't know who this guy is, but man is he hung. And he's uncut so that just makes his dick that much more tasty.

Another note

So yesterday I was thinking more about the Mike Dozer story. Something that I forgot to mention is that Mike is HIV+. Now if it was other actors that wouldn't be such a big deal, but Mike has made it quite clear he's not a fan of condoms. Wore a shirt last year that said condoms were for pussies. So not only did he have sex with a 14 year old, but it most likely was unprotected sex. Again I try to reserve judgement, but it gets harder and harder to hear his side. The 14 year old could have pursued him all he wanted, but Mike was the adult so he could have said no. Plus you can't think a 14 year old is anything, but underage. They are not fully developed. Hell 18 year olds aren't always fully developed. Yeah everything works, but not all of them have the ability to have facial hair or body hair. I don't want to say throw the book at him, but well....throw the book at him. Yes at 14 we all would have loved to be with an older guy. It's a fantasy, but we are so naive of the world. We heard about STDs, but we don't really understand them. Can you imagine if at 14 you did get to be with that guy you wanted to be with only to find out that you now have this disease for the rest of your life and that it will affect any relationship you try to have in the future. The only way I can see this going away for him is if the 14 year old recants (which I doubt with the parents being around will happen), there's evidence to suggest that it was made up (pretty sure that also won't happen), or...well no those are the only real possibilities. The best option is a plea deal because otherwise I can see the maximum sentence being delivered if he's convicted.
Back to my bright note. I'll be going over to spend Valentine's and the weekend with my guy. Plus his birthday is tomorrow so it will be fun. We both can't wait. He's been sending me a lot of teaser photos. He took a picture of his sexy chest and sent it to me. Sent me a picture of himself after a shower today. This is of course fun. As I've said before I love the little things. Now I have to get him something for his birthday. Not something big and fancy, but something that shows that I was thinking of him. I'll probably go out tomorrow and just look around. Friday is going to be so great.

 Just yum. Flat out.

 This is from the video with Austin Wolf and Abele Place. This was the second Austin Wolf video I ever saw. It kinda cemented the hotness that is Austin in my mind. Abele is no slacker. The dude has a great body, but Austin just steals the show in my mind.

 I swear that bodybuilder show must be a strip show. I mean those posers are super super tiny. They don't leave anything to the imagination. Usually the posers are a little looser, but I'm not complaining.

This is of course Brad Hollibaugh. The thing that is the most shocking about that man is that he's big EVERYWHERE! He's not just this huge bodybuilder, but he is so hung. I'm surprised he even got his junk in those tiny things.

One week away

So Wednesday night my bear came over for a visit. It was so amazing. He came driving up and I went to go great him and he hugged and kissed me. I won't lie I swooned a little. Well he came in and met Ted and they got along really well. Ted talked me up (which of course was really awkward for me) then eventually left us and we snuggled up on the couch. He's a really good kisser and I loved being held by him. Which is funny because suppose to be the top in the relationship, but he is taller and buffer than me. He doesn't so much agree on the buffer part, but he is. He's got a nice barrel chest. And it's pretty solid too. Well we ended up going to bed early and originally we were just going to sleep together nude. And by sleep together I mean actually sleep. Well I started rubbing things and he started rubbings and before I know it we are 69ing. It was so hot. Well we finished up and went to sleep. We were suppose to get up early to go to the gym, but we slept in of course. So we went to the gym later than I normally do and I had THE BEST arm workout in a long time. As I've said before I get kinda alpha maleish when a cute guy is in the back room with me. Well he was doing cardio and yet I was still acting as if he was back there. Then we went home afterwards to shower together and we just laid in bed nude talking and looking at photos of guys we thought were sexy. Then finally got dressed and got some food before coming back to watch Mamma Mia. Then more chatting before he finally had to go home. It was honestly so great. Ted said that Bear was clearly not phony and the two of us just go together. Me his pup and him the bear. We also set up that I'm going to see him next Friday. We are going to hang out with ted and his guy at a Valentine's banquet then me and bear are going back to his place. Saturday will probably be gym then off to the cities to go to a gay bar called Gay 90's. It's going to be the first Valentine's day that I actually am happy to go through. I just have to figure out what to get him for Valentine's. Hoping I can find something with a puppy. Just want to hold him again. The fun of having a boyfriend who lives 90 something miles away. Yet I'm totally not worried. I love this man and I'm certainly never going to let distance be an excuse not to continue to see him. Especially since we chat all the time.

 I really got nothing to add here. He's just flat out sexy.

 If given the choice I don't know where I'd want to attack first on this guy. Want to play with those nip rings, but also want to suck that impressive dick. Guess I'd have to have him for several hours to make sure I do it all.

 Again not really much to say here. I'd hit that.

I can't remember this guy's name. I know he did a video where he played a doctor for hot house. I don't think he did much sadly. Especially with that dick of his. That could easily do some damage.

Bit of reflection

I didn't post yesterday because I wasn't feeling too hot and couldn't come up with anything to really say. Well last night I was talking to Ted and well I made some realizations about myself. Ted is currently talking to another guy and going to see him tomorrow. We were talking about what we learned from our past relationships and what we don't like about trying to date. Well from that I kinda understand why I have trouble dating guys my own age. Basically it boils down to the fact that I don't like wasting my time. What I mean is that unlike a lot of guys my own age, I'm not satisfied just dating. I'm not looking for a guy to date and have it go no where. So I ask the questions that often get associated with "moving too fast". For instance I'll ask things like where do you see yourself in 5 years? Do you want a long term relationship? And other questions along those lines. For a lot of guys that signals that I'm moving way too fast and expecting to get married tomorrow. That of course isn't the case. Basically view dating like being at a Casino. This casino tells you the odds of winning right off the bat. Some machines or games have a better chance. Each machine or game or table being a guy. The chips used in this casino are time. That's time of your life. So when you decide to sit at the table or game or machine you ask what are the odds of winning. That would me asking the question do you want a long term relationship. If a guy says oh I just want to hook up, then it's a 1 in a billion chance that I'll hit the jackpot. The jackpot being a relationship that lasts for 10 years or more. Specifically the more part. Now after I asks the questions and feel good about my odds I'll put in chips. Now the more chips you put in the better chance you'll hit the jackpot. You can of course walk away and hope you find another game you like and put your remaining chips there, or of course just spend your chips on food or something. A lot of guys my age just willy nilly throw their chips at whatever game looks the best. If they hit the jackpot yay for them. If not they just keep moving on. Then of course they eventually realize they don't have all that many chips left and that's when they try to find a game to win the jackpot with. In case you were wondering I came up with that analogy all by myself.
So that's why I tend to lean more towards older guys. They are at the point where they are more concerned about their remaining time and not wasting it on someone who doesn't want what they want. Not a fan of wasting my time so that's why I've kinda gotten picky. I'm sure I'll be saying no a lot more than yes coming soon.

 This would drive me wild. Like I said, I have a thing for cowboys, but having his shirt open that much, yeah that would make me melt. How can you not want to rub that chest?

 I'm trying to figure out if this is a still from a porno or just an actual picture. I would imagine it has to do with porn since the guy is shirtless, in his underwear, and has a big leg tattoo. Now I could be wrong of course. Just find it interesting that someone would take a picture at this instance especially with this guy peeking out. Then post it to the web.

 This guy is the perfect example of why I don't wear tight shirts. See how his nipples are clearly visible? Well it's hot on this guy, but on me I feel like I'm trying to show off which makes me feel very self conscious.

Pretty obvious why I posted this one. Enjoy :)

I could hit something

So it's pretty obvious that I'm just a little pissed off today. So Saturday once again I couldn't meet up with Buck. His brother was in the ICU with pneumonia. Ok I get it. Granted I had to find out about this on face book because he didn't tell me until I pressed him. Then I asked when could we talk about us. I of course got no response. He didn't say anything Sunday so I ended it. Now before you think I didn't try to work it out note that he changed his relationship status to "it's complicated" saturday.  All this without talking to me. He also didn't meet up with me on the 12th because he had a birthday party to go to, but still hadn't done anything for my birthday which was on the 1st. He didn't really say anything to me in the last month. So yeah I ended it because clearly he wasn't into it and wasn't going to tell me.
Well this morning I was mostly fine. Then I get a text from him. Basically it says he's bi and that he wanted to tell me in person and that I deserve someone better than him. Yeah no fucking kidding. I deserve a guy who will at least give me the respect to tell me something like this in person. There were plenty of times for him to tell me. He could have asked me over any time during the week. He could have asked me over on Sunday, but no he didn't. That is what I'm pissed off about. You wait until after I have to break up to tell me. In a text. That is what makes me want to punch something.
And before any of you say I'm "too young" for a serious relationship you have got to be kidding me. I'm 25 not 14. I've never been one to just hook up. I've always been a guy looking for something serious. Something I've said time and time again. According to every adult I know, I'm "very mature" for my age. I have friends who are married and have kids already. Some of those married are younger than me. Don't tell me I'm too young. And yes one of these friends is gay and has been with the same guy for over 4 years before the guy asked him to marry him. Now with all that said I need to just get Buck out of my system and move on. Feeling a little better writing this. Only a little. Still need to hit something a little.

 This is Hans Hoffman in contest condition. I've seen the video this comes from and he is RIPPED. Normally in a video he's still in decent shape, just not so vascular. If I ever find the video for you guys I'll post it. It's a real treat.

 I came across this picture and it really shocked me. At first I didn't know who it was then I thought that guy looks like Lee Priest. Oh but Lee doesn't have a face tattoo. He has a face tattoo now. I'm all for guy's with ink, but I do not like face tattoos. On anyone. Which is a shame because he has an amazing body and I've seen him in fitness magazines ever since I can remember. Just seems like you get judged unfairly in the bodybuilding circuit for having too much ink.

 This picture made me think of something I read awhile back. When the first Hulk movie came out (with CGI not Lou Ferrigno) there was a 10 inch Hulk doll that had a 2 inch dong in it's pants. And yes this was from a toy company. That's a pretty damn big dick when you think about it. For me who's 66 inches tall that would me I'd have a dick that's about 13.2 inches long. And we don't know if that's hard or soft. For Hulk who's about 96 inches tall (depending on which hulk) he'd have a dong that's 19.2 inches.

I'd love to suck this guy's dick while he sits back and enjoys his pipe. I don't know why that thought is so erotic to me, but it is. Also probably because that is a very nice dick.

Thanks

I want to thank you guys that commented on my blog yesterday. Some days I post knowing no one will really actually comment on any thought I specifically am having that day. It's always nice to bounce an idea off someone. To answer the big burning question I've thought about staying and trying to work it out. The only problem is that it requires us to actually talk. We are going on the third day where he hasn't said a word to me. You see normally I text him morning and good night. He'd normally respond to both. Well over the past month I'm lucky to get anything after I say good morning and as for at night. Nope nada. So I've stopped. To see if he would see that something is wrong. Now anyone that knows me, knows I like routine. I tend to be very predictable. So when I do something out of the ordinary it's because something is clearly wrong. I use to send out a tip of the day to my friends every day. When I would miss a day, everyone would text me asking if something was wrong. In the several months Buck has known me I have texted him morning and night. I have not heard a thing from him. And it's not just that. It's the fact he hasn't sent me a photo teasing me in forever. He doesn't tell me when he goes to work, something he use to always do. All these things that he normally did he's stopped. Now I chalked it up to stress and depression, but all of that came on all of a sudden. I've had depression. It doesn't just come on. There are signs that something is up. He just stopped. No explanation. Once again we skipped a Saturday of not seeing each other. Now before I again chalked it up to him working Oktoberfest and being a bartender. I've been making excuses for quite some time. Now don't go thinking I haven't tried to get him to open up to me. I've talked to him and said I'm here for him. Nothing. He use to tell me if he had a job lead. I found out about the last one on facebook. He will openly discuss the president's healthcare law with his brother on his wall then text me hello or how are you.
So keeping all this in mind I was texting my friend last night. And he said something kinda out of the blue. He said I had a really good sixth sense. Which is funny because I always thought it sucked. Plus it's more of me looking at the situation logically rather than a gut feeling. He also mentioned that Buck could be pulling back because he's not emotionally mature to just end it. Once again I get a guy telling me I'm very emotionally mature for someone my age. Plus I was watching Girl Code, because it's funny and any insight to how women think will help me with female customers, and they were talking about getting dumped. In the later part of the segment they mentioned there are signs that a guy will break up with you. The big sign is that he becomes withdrawn. They then give crazy examples like if you had surgery and he sends you a get well card he's about to break up with you. They had a guy on that said yeah I'll act like a jerk to get you to break up with me. If I don't then you won't get over me. Which got me thinking. Yeah that's kinda how I am when a break up happens. I get very withdrawn. Don't respond like I use to. So I think it's happening and if it isn't then Buck better man the fuck up and start acting like he's in a relationship. Not just that but introduce me to your friends. I'm not asking for a ring or to meet your parents. Just to meet your friends. Last week when he went to the birthday party would have been the best time. I think he's just too far into the closet to really be in a relationship with a guy. Guess that's what happens when you are the first guy another guy dates.

 Cowboys will probably forever be a sex symbol. I think it has to do with the fact they are known to work with their hands. They tend to also have very nice bodies. Heck you'd even say that about farm boys.

 I do not know if this is a still from a movie so don't ask. Neeedless to say that this is of Titpig Hurley. He's kinda hard not to recognize. I still think he's a very sexy man. And is probably one of the reasons why I'm so obsessed with playing with a guy's nipples.

 I do not know who this is. If I was to guess I think he would make for a good Wolverine in an x-men porn parody.

This is Frankie Latz. He's the supposed older brother of Peter Latz. Shave the head and you'd probably see it more. I say supposed because there is a video of Peter jacking off watching a video of Frank and saying that's his big brother. And it's not like we haven't seen a couple pretend to be brothers.

How strong is it

I often wonder if I have a strong argument from time to time. As of yesterday I've sort of given up on trying to contact Buck. When my texts often go unanswered I kinda stop trying. I mean we use to text all the time. Now I know it can't be like when we were first dating, but you'd think I could at least get a hope you have a good day out of him. There have been 3 days (maybe 4) where I won't here a thing out of him. Yesterday he asked how my day went (yay) and I said slow and that was it. That was the entire conversation. He hasn't tried to meet up with me. I still to this day haven't met any one of his friends. He's met mine twice. Supposedly they know about me and asked to meet me, but no nothing. I swear we've drifted apart and it feels like I'm the only one who cares. I can't even find out when he has a lead on a job. I have to read about it on facebook. I would talk to him about it, but I haven't seen him in over 2 weeks. Again. His growlr doesn't even mention the "great/amazing" guy he's with anymore. Just says he's in a relationship which is weird. Just feel like he's wanting me to break up with him so he doesn't have to do it. Anyway I'm not wrong here right? Asking for a little communication here and there. Wanting to see my boyfriend who lives in town at least once a week. I mean I don't want to break up without at least talking about it, but at this rate I would have to say it to even get him to answer me. And even then he probably wouldn't. Just hate being in this limbo state. I can deal with something that happens. I can't deal with the crossroad I'm at now.

 I know I should know this guy's name, but I don't. I know he use to be all over xtube. Only found one of said videos. I figured he was a bottom, but this just confirms it. I bet fucking him is so much fun.

 I'd hire this guy to hold up any paint cans I have. Provided he's naked just like that. Then again like I wouldn't turn it into more. It technically wouldn't be prostitution since I paid him to hold cans. I didn't say he couldn't be naked and we both just happened to have sex together.

 This of course is Str8 Jeff. He's been running a cam site for quite some time. Even has his own lube that looks like his cum. Apparently some studios also use it to spice up a cumshot in a photo shoot if the guy doesn't shoot much. He's always struck me as a good guy. I've never seen him degrade any of his viewers or say anything super negative on twitter. He's a straight guy I really don't mind watching because he's so open and friendly.

This is big PJ. He's a very sexy Aussie. Awhile back he made a few videos and even had his own site. I went back recently and looks like the domain is now up for grabs. He is a sexy guy. Even sexier when he lets his body hair grow out. If I find anything of his I'll post it, but sadly there are so few out there. That might be why his site is gone. Not enough viewers. He seemed to update it regularly, but then again that could have just been an illusion.