Always wanting what you can't have

So I was doing my typical rounds of hitting up blogs on blogspot. I of course get caught up reading different guy experiences. Then eventually I go aww I don't get to have that now. I can't just go out and pick up a random guy and have my way with him or vice versa. Then I realize I always want what I don't or can't have. For instance I wanted a boyfriend for the longest time then when I got one I was looking for a way out. Granted that was with my ex and we had other issues but still same thought. Then when I was single again I wanted to have a boyfriend. So I realized I'm probably always going to feel like this, but there are things that my boyfriend does that makes me not want to be single less and less. For instance this morning I was suppose to get up early to workout. My boyfriend is a morning guy and I'm a let me sleep until 1 pm and maybe I'll get up guy. So as he's trying to get me up he's massaging me and I kinda start grabbing stuff. I notice he's got a raging hard on and so I of course play with it. I was going to get up, but well I was having too much fun playing with my boyfriend's dick. Needless to say my back and shoulder workout turned out to be a hip and ass workout. Now obviously if I was single I couldn't have that. I couldn't have a guy waking me up to go workout with him. I would rarely have a guy over all night in the first place. Plus the hooking up really isn't my thing. When I was "hooking up" it was more for a steady fuck buddy hoping he'd be my bf. I really can't do the one night stand type thing. Not in my personality. Not to mention that I wouldn't have someone to watch movies with. We rented a movie to watch tonight. I wouldn't have that. I love that about being in a relationship. I have someone that I look forward to seeing everyday. Not just for sex, but for everything life throws at me. If I have a bad day he's always there. When I have a good day he shares it with me. Yeah I may not have a blog full of stories of the countless guys I've hooked up with or will hookup with, but I will have one full of stories about the guy I love. And the guys I lust after. Well I guess back to work and trying to workout tomorrow.