Tired of the dangling Carrot

Basically I'm sick of the guys that live around this area. The reason being is they all like to dangle a carrot in front of you. Then when you go to try to bite they yank it away. I've had so many guys flake on me it's just pathetic. Well I mentioned awhile ago that Scott wanted to take me on a date. Well I was pretty guarded about it. The reason being is he's done it before. Well last night he texts me (at midnight when I'm asleep) that it's just not going to work. Texting and iming just doesn't do it for him. In other words, I was right. The distance between us was too much. So the guy lost his chance. I'm sure he'll try to come back later and say well I love you and maybe we could try if we move closer together. I of course won't go for it. If it wasn't Brock being extremely distant it's Scott being a waffle. So I'm in no hurry to find someone to date. Hell even the guy that says all gay guys are douche bags tried to do it to me. He asked where I was because he wanted a blowjob, then changes his mind and says he'll wait until he finds a bf. Well hell will freeze over before then. Mainly because he says all gay guys are douche bags and refuses to be around them. So now that squirt is out, adam4adam is out (tried it and hated it), gayromeo is out (no one in my area), I guess that leaves plenty of fish and gay.com. I could try gay.com again because I did meet some guys there, but it was when me and my ex were going through a phase so I didn't get to do anything. I won't be doing any of that until spring of course. The reason being is the snow is gone and I'll be more likely to go out plus there will be more day light than night.
On a far less depressing note I did have a pretty awesome dream last night. In it I apparently got to hook up with Adam Rogue. Although he was called Jessie in my dream. Don't ask me what that is about. Well we hooked up (and it was hot if I recall right) and he seemed to have a thing for me. I was apparently visiting my parents and he somehow got into my room. Was hiding in my bed under the covers. Well my sister apparently saw something movie and it freaked her out. She kinda went creepy child in a horror movie on me. So I figure crap Jessie (Adam Rogue) must be in there. Will say he looked oh so cute in my bed. But sadly it was only a dream.
I just like the positioning in this photo. I've also finding myself attracted to guys like the one standing here. Just that build where the guy is muscular, but not overly muscular. Like he works a job that is very physical versus in the gym all the time. Just those type are kinda catching my eye.
Jeff the naughty elf. Although I would say he's trying to be more of a Santa here. Would love to find this under my Christmas tree. Pretty sure my ex wouldn't be happy if I did find him there.
Julius always makes such great comics. They are always older guys taking in younger guys. Which is of course one reason why I love this picture. I could so see myself as the younger guy. Granted I'm not blond, but still. Just another picture that kinda shows my dirty obsession with Santa.
What a volley of cum. I looked at this photo several times to make sure it wasn't simply a morph. It does look like it was truly captured from a video of a guy jacking. Would love to see and hear it actually happen. From the look on the guys face it was a powerful orgasm. I bet he's one of those guys that sounds like a bear as he's cumming which I think is a real turn on.

My mind is trying to tell me something

For three nights straight I've had a sex dream. The first night I was apparently escaping some sort of trans-dimensional spiders. One of the guys leading the charge was Stephan Lang. He was the guy who was the big bad guy on Avatar and is the head guy in the new show Terranova. Well apparently we got talking and he got real close to me. I hated him for some reason and he starts rubbing his crotch in mine. And he had a lot to rub. Said we'll get back to it. Sadly we didn't. Ok so it wasn't so much a sex dream as having something sexual happen. The next night I don't remember how the dream was going, but there was Simon Cowell. Yes that guy. He apparently knew my dad so we were really close. Well we were talking and he takes off his shirt to reveal a very nice six pack. I remember rubbing it, but I can't remember too much after that. Pretty sure we did something. Then last night I was apparently in the army (yes I know how ironic that is). I was in my bunk and Jack Radcliffe and some other guy get in the bunk across from mine. I can hear them going at it, but I fall asleep. When I wake up I think I still hear them going at it, but I sit up a bit to find no it's just a cooler going. Yeah don't ask me how those two sounds could be mistaken. Well I walk out of the bunk room and into a somewhat nice house. A tv is going and in that room Jack Radcliffe is sitting there shirtless in his boxers. I try not to stare or make too much noise, but at the same time I want to. Well he eventually wakes up and notices me. He invites me into his bed where I start rubbing his chest. I eventually get his boxers off and start sucking him. After a bit he pulls me off saying I'm doing too good of a job. We kiss then he gets up. Then I think I woke up. The sad thing is that my bf did ask if I wanted to have sex, but honestly I haven't been ready to. The pro-hormone and finding out that I'm going to get laid off has really killed any desire I have. Awake anyway.
Now that's someone that could keep me warm all winter. I'd be snuggled up to that all the time even if it meant I would be sweating the entire time. Just looks like my own personal teddy bear.
The only thing not huge on this guy is body fat. I mean wow. That really is a rare combo of someone with a buff body and a dick that basically matches. Seems like you see really skinny dudes with huge dicks or bodybuilders with not so huge dicks or guys that are decent shape, but with an average dick. Plus this guy's dick is uncut. I could have fun for hours with that guy.
Finally found this guy's name. Sergio Soldi, but in this specific set he called himself Mate Torres. Now I can appreciate a good front like any guy, but rarely do I post back shots of guys. That's not because I'm biased, but because rarely do I see a back that makes me think I'm going to post that. Well this guy has a really nice back. He clearly works on it. Not to mention he's got a nice ass on him too.
Don't remember where I got this photo. I do remember that this one was like the only one where he seemed to be relaxed and enjoying himself. Either that or I'm getting it confused with another photo. I think it's always nice when you see a dick just floating there all by itself. Not being held up by the guy. Just seems like a guy is really in the moment when his dick is hard, but he's not touching it. It's like when you give your dick a few strokes then stop to let it jerk. If you've never tried that, then do it.

Need summer

I kinda need a change in scenery. It's just cold and dreary here. Kinda keeps me from doing anything. I will say I'm glad my weight is going up and looks like it's muscle rather than fat. Just wish I knew what I was doing differently. I want to make sure I keep it up. I'm up to 166.2 lbs. That is nice. Especially since I've been trying to break 165 forever. Would figure it that was going to happen it would happen when I was on a pro-hormone. On a side note Saturday night/Sunday morning I had a sex dream. A sex dream that became a wet dream. And very wet it was. It was kinda embarrassing because my boyfriend then goes to wrap his arm around me and his hand falls to my underwear which is wet in the front. Luckily he didn't say anything the next day. Pretty sure he knew what happened and just hasn't said anything. Or it's exactly why he got frisky yesterday afternoon.
This is Max Sinclaire a.k.a. Neo. Depends on where you see him. He's another guy that's apparently gay-for-pay. Shame too. Seems like he really knows how to suck cock. Also knows to to take a cock. I do always wonder if the gay-for-pay label is one that porn companies like to put on guys to make it seem more forbidden fruit and therefore sell more videos. Just a thought.
This will be the third picture I post of Rocky LaBarre. Wait did I get that name right? Anyway this is apparently from his facebook. One of the yahoo groups I'm in sent it. The guy is honestly so sexy. I just wonder why no other porn company has picked him up. I've only seen him in one thing. He is such a hot daddy type that he'd make a great scene with a twink. Also seems to be the type he's attracted too. Loved to meet him in person.
Well that poser looks stuffed. Honestly sometimes I can't tell if that is the actual bulge or if it's something else. I mean it's pretty big. Then again so is the rest of him. Kinda wish I could see how that ass looks. Clearly is a nice firm ass. And the upper body is pretty huge too. Yep I could never be a bodybuilder. Spend way too much time looking at the other competitors.

Planning on sticking around

So there was some drama that showed up on my blog yesterday. Someone named Douglas left like 8 comments saying crap about me and how I don't know anything blah blah blah along with a link to a Scott Hall video. He then says he reported me to google for stalking and making slanderous statements. Now I don't know how google handles these issues and how long it takes them to handle it. I think if they read posts they'll see that I only stated my opinion based on the facts which is not slander. As for the stalking thing who am I stalking? The dude posts his videos everywhere. I haven't e-mailed anyone so I don't see how I'm stalking. Personally I think whoever this Douglas is thought I was mjolesko. I just know that name came up in my stats as something that got people to view my blog. I'm not this person nor do I know who they are. I simply know that I saw him and Scott Hall arguing and posted the argument they had in comments. It's what made me say enough. That being said if this blog disappears I'll just make another one. It won't kill me. Not to mention the fact that it's good therapy. Some of these things I don't want to talk to my friends about. Sometimes it helps me work things out for me. So I'm going to continue blogging until I don't want to do it anymore.
On a different note I don't think I could ever do drag. I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race on logo.com. It's so interesting. I mean seeing these guys transform into women. A lot of them are very hot guys and they become very sexy girls. My personal favorite is Pandora Box. Hot in or out of drag. Anyway it's such an intense life style when you think about it. You need to learn how to put on make up. You need to learn how to tuck. You need to learn how to make fake boobs. There is a whole culture you need to learn. It's not simply putting on a wig and going out. Anyway I just like watching it. Something different then America's Next Top Model or that other show with fashion. Plus I do love watching the drama. Makes me feel better about my job.
Last night I had a sex dream. I haven't had one of those in forever. Especially since I haven't been backed up sexually for awhile. It was a very weird dream too. I apparently had 3 porn star roommates. 1 was Arpad Miklos and I'm pretty sure one of the others was Adam Killian. Anyway we decided to have a foursome to celebrate our new place. As we were getting ready to get started stuff happened. I ended up being a store and kissing and humping a guy. I told him to meet up in my room for the foursome and suddenly we are at my apartment. Then we kinda get started, but I stop and leave. I'm then in a room with tons of guys jacking off and I walk to the end. There was a guy just sitting there and we started talking and I kissed him and started sucking him off. He then cums and so do I and I wake up to me cumming. Like said weird. Don't know what brought it up.

Don't want to go

So I'm getting all mushy knowing that tomorrow night I won't be in bed with my boyfriend, but instead back in my home state sleeping on my old bed alone. It's been really frisky lately because he knows we will be away from each other for a few days, but me it's just making me grouchy and nervous. The last time I left him was in December and and we both didn't have a really great time. I got these nose bleeds and was clearly sick. He didn't have a good time with his family since he was kinda excluded out of most of the fun. This time he does have a lot he can do, but I mean come the nights we are both going to bed without the other one. One of the joys of living with your boyfriend is you get to sleep together. I just hope I can perform tonight. Haven't been in the mood lately because of all the stuff going down. So I got this afternoon off and I'll see if a little edge session helps to put me in the mood. Did have an interesting sex dream though. Something about a guy jacking off in the middle of the store. Oh well. Got 6 videos for today. First up is Muscle Matt getting massaged and sucked off by Jason. One thing about Muscle Matt is that he's not overly muscular. As I was watching this clip I realized that he's kinda built like my boyfriend. Both are guys that aren't huge, but do have some muscle on them. I will say Muscle Matt has a flatter stomach though. Next up is a Brazilian Muscle Stud threesome. I must say the first guy looks really funny jacking off. Besides that it was a good clip. Makes you wonder if this goes on every night in Brazil. Third on the list is Zack Spears in Journey Back. This was the movie that he did when he came back out of retirement the first time. Just kinda an interesting movie because they have interviews and don't go at it like a regular movie. Must say Zack is looking very nice in the movie. Looking even better nowadays. Next Mark Slade plays a cop in the final scene from Cuffed. The thing about Mark Slade is he's very hot. Built like a brick house and a really low raspy voice. The funny thing is that he goes on and on about how straight he is. Must say he sure as hell doesn't look straight in this scene. Our second to last scene is two guys playing in the Bathroom. It's really an odd scene because you think the way they are going at it the bigger guy is going to fuck the other guy, but all of a sudden they switch. Plus all of a sudden one gets sucked off wearing a condom while the other doesn't. I mean that's just weird. If your going to make one suck off with a condom the other should too. Other then that it's a pretty nice scene with nice money shots. The final scene is a literal oldie, but goodie. It's a Vintage colt cop scene. The only thing left to say is watch it because it is VERY VERY hot.

Still a Horny Goat

Despite having sex just last night (which usually holds me for a day) I had a sex dream and still a bit horny. I have no clue why. It could be because I'm at the end of my cycle with that pro-hormone. I don't know what is causing it, but it's going to suck soon because my guy is going to get less horny and not really want to have sex real soon. I mean I even had a sex dream last night. I don't have sex dreams the night I have sex. That just doesn't happen for me. So I should wonder what is going on and get to the bottom of it, but honestly It's not that big of a deal. Especially since today I was able to get in a short edging session before work. Got to view all those new videos I got off those sites now that I found out the problem. Maybe it has to do with the fact that last night I actually shot more then I usually shoot according to my boyfriend. Sorry still trying to figure out the horny thing. Maybe it's the celery that I'm eating....I'll have to make sure to get more next time we go shopping. When I get home tonight I'll probably have another mini session before my boyfriend gets home. Maybe I can even talk him into having a little play session tonight. Well Time for videos. Pretty sure it's not a secret that I have the hots for Vince Ferelli. I think he's a very hot guy hairy or shaved. Gladly take him any day. Well I also have this on and off thing for Andrew Justice. Some movies he really does it for me and others not so much. This scene he does it well because he is paired with one of my favorites. I think this is a scene from Head Hunters 2. I could look it up but I'm lazy. The last video is a clip from the studio Bullet which was a big studio back in the day. I have a couple of their best of videos and they are really good. I like this video for several reasons. 1. the guys are passionate and it's kinda obvious when you watch it. 2. They have nice builds. Not too big, but not way skinny either. 3. They actually do a bicep curl correctly. I keep watching these videos where guys lift like 50 lbs dumbells and they use there whole body to lift it. They throw in their back and their legs. It doesn't really work the arm. I rather lift 25 lbs and work the bicep correct and get it stronger then do it incorrectly and be lucky if it's actually working my arm.

Ugh Great day

Today has been another really boring day. Did have an exciting night...least in my dreams. Yeah from what I can remember I was in a scene from a movie called Opposite Attraction. I was working with the porn star known as Walter Soares. From what I remember when I was obsessed with him he is a Brazilian who starred in two Buckshot films along with some other productions from marco studios. Now he's a big guy (or was don't know what he's doing now) and like I said I was obsessed. I wanted everything that he did. Of course easier said then done since most of his stuff is on VHS tapes and hard to find copies of. I'm in a few movie sharing groups and I've always thought of requesting some of his stuff, but never did. These were some of the only images I could find of him.

Needless to say that they aren't the best photos. Anyway it was a pretty intense dream because I woke up to me cumming in my briefs. Yeah that was fun. Lucky for me I was wearing briefs otherwise my boyfriend would have never let me hear the end of it. Which reminds me of stuff I found yesterday. See I use to regularly visit gymjox.com because there was always something there. Now it's like a ghost site that hasn't had an update since early January. Well you know that guy Scott Hall. Apparently he posts on the site every now and again. Now let's get something straight. I'm not really a fan of the guy. He just strikes me as a pompous ass that is way too into himself. I mean his videos are just a bunch of random clips put together. That annoys me because when I'm jacking off I don't want to be flashing through several images. Wish he would do a normal video and not a collage of stuff. Anyway so Scott Hall is ranting on the site about some guy that is apparently stalking him. Well guess what you put yourself out in the open so of course you are going to have some stalkers. If you want to see his rant it's still up on the site under comments for the happy new years post. Yeah can't stand him, but my boyfriend loves him. Well back to work for me.

Yeah Did it again

So I had yet another sex dream. I don't know what's causing it. Well could be this GH booster stuff I've been taking plus the testosterone booster. Don't know anyway in the first part of my dream which involved floating clouds and characters from the anime one piece I was chosen by Al Parker to save the US and get it to where it needed to go. Yeah don't ask me why it was Al Parker. Nothing sexual about that part, just thought it was worth noting. The sex part of the dream was a Foursome. The weird part of that was that my music teacher from elementary school was there. Apparently she was a drag queen. So she or should I say he took off the wig and dress and stuff and was a SMOKING hot guy. I mean just wow. Now another guy was in there, but I don't really remember much about him. The last guy was the porn star Ricky Sinz. Yeah I think he's quite a looker. Ricky actually reminds me of Caesar. Mainly because he just seems like one of those people that's overtly sexual. I just know people like that in real life and they are a BLAST to hang out with. Anyway I digress. So we kinda started together then I drifted away with my former music teacher now turned into a SMOKING hot guy. The dream actually ended before I got to do more then enter my teacher. Woke up to my boyfriend being all snuggly. It was just like I said weird because I haven't seen anything with Ricky Sinz in it since I watched that youtube video of his photo shoot with Margert Cho. Well back to why I like the guy. He just gives me this impression that he's not afraid to be who he is. Again the type of guy I like. It's really hard for me to follow a porn star that I don't feel like has a good personality. Like I still can't really watch Erik Rhodes. I couldn't figure out why for the longest time then I stumbled across his blog. Turns out he's pretty depressed and I think that's what turned me off to him. Not like I've talked to the guy, but just something about him when I watched him. Well anyway that was my dream. Well good thing tomorrow I get a day off by myself to play plus get some later on that night. Or I'll get some tonight. We'll see.

On Cloud 9

Lately it just seems like me and my boyfriend have just been really lovey dovey. Seems like our relationship is just gotten to a point where it just feels right. Doesn't feel like we are trying to impress the other. Well I still am. I still want to get bigger so I can be his muscle stud. Yeah he grabs me and treats me like I am one, but I still feel like I'm too small. It's just been going so well. It's why I didn't post yesterday. I kinda got all the stuff off my chest. Seems like getting it off my chest lead to us being more closer. Although the ex did im me today. Yeah clearly going to have to tell him to stop that. Anyway I had a sex dream again last night and it was a weird one. I think it was reflecting my past relationship. Actually I shouldn't say sex dream because I don't remember there being any sex. I was apparently with this guy and he didn't treat me well, but I cared for him a lot. Then one day some guy comes out of the blue and apparently my dream boyfriend owe money and so we had to get out of their quick but we left the car across the street. So I go to get it and he leaves me. Apparently my grandparents know that I'm gay (as far as I know they really don't) and so my grandpa says well then he wasn't really meant for ya now was he. Then there was a second part of the dream where I was dating another guy, and I think that part had sex, but I can't remember. Right now I'm more focused on my friend who I tried to hook up with another one of my friends. Apparently one is head over heels in love and the other isn't and so he has to have the talk saying I don't want to date you. Just feel so bad for both parties because they didn't hit it off as well as I thought they would. Tonight the big talk is suppose to happen and I just don't want to have to deal with the aftermath. I mean I'll see both people on im tomorrow so I'm going to hear about it. One is going to be super crushed and the other is going to be crushed because he crushed the heart of someone else.