So it's pretty obvious that I'm just a little pissed off today. So Saturday once again I couldn't meet up with Buck. His brother was in the ICU with pneumonia. Ok I get it. Granted I had to find out about this on face book because he didn't tell me until I pressed him. Then I asked when could we talk about us. I of course got no response. He didn't say anything Sunday so I ended it. Now before you think I didn't try to work it out note that he changed his relationship status to "it's complicated" saturday. All this without talking to me. He also didn't meet up with me on the 12th because he had a birthday party to go to, but still hadn't done anything for my birthday which was on the 1st. He didn't really say anything to me in the last month. So yeah I ended it because clearly he wasn't into it and wasn't going to tell me.
Well this morning I was mostly fine. Then I get a text from him. Basically it says he's bi and that he wanted to tell me in person and that I deserve someone better than him. Yeah no fucking kidding. I deserve a guy who will at least give me the respect to tell me something like this in person. There were plenty of times for him to tell me. He could have asked me over any time during the week. He could have asked me over on Sunday, but no he didn't. That is what I'm pissed off about. You wait until after I have to break up to tell me. In a text. That is what makes me want to punch something.
And before any of you say I'm "too young" for a serious relationship you have got to be kidding me. I'm 25 not 14. I've never been one to just hook up. I've always been a guy looking for something serious. Something I've said time and time again. According to every adult I know, I'm "very mature" for my age. I have friends who are married and have kids already. Some of those married are younger than me. Don't tell me I'm too young. And yes one of these friends is gay and has been with the same guy for over 4 years before the guy asked him to marry him. Now with all that said I need to just get Buck out of my system and move on. Feeling a little better writing this. Only a little. Still need to hit something a little.
This is Hans Hoffman in contest condition. I've seen the video this comes from and he is RIPPED. Normally in a video he's still in decent shape, just not so vascular. If I ever find the video for you guys I'll post it. It's a real treat.
I came across this picture and it really shocked me. At first I didn't know who it was then I thought that guy looks like Lee Priest. Oh but Lee doesn't have a face tattoo. He has a face tattoo now. I'm all for guy's with ink, but I do not like face tattoos. On anyone. Which is a shame because he has an amazing body and I've seen him in fitness magazines ever since I can remember. Just seems like you get judged unfairly in the bodybuilding circuit for having too much ink.
This picture made me think of something I read awhile back. When the first Hulk movie came out (with CGI not Lou Ferrigno) there was a 10 inch Hulk doll that had a 2 inch dong in it's pants. And yes this was from a toy company. That's a pretty damn big dick when you think about it. For me who's 66 inches tall that would me I'd have a dick that's about 13.2 inches long. And we don't know if that's hard or soft. For Hulk who's about 96 inches tall (depending on which hulk) he'd have a dong that's 19.2 inches.
I'd love to suck this guy's dick while he sits back and enjoys his pipe. I don't know why that thought is so erotic to me, but it is. Also probably because that is a very nice dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure that anyone who has been through this won't bat an eyelid that you didn't 'try to work it out'. If anything, had you tried, I woulda been like, why would you? I've been through a similar situation after my first relationship went bust. I was 23 when my first bf called it quits on me and left me with "I love you so much...but I don't think that's enough for you" (nice way to leave me as the problem), and after a year of heartache, I started dating this other guy. Long story short, a few weeks into the relationship he stopped txting me, calling me, and on my birthday he came out with me for a couple hours and then he 'had to go home'. Mind you, I already had a feeling that something was wrong, so I ended up calling him a week later and after some small talk, I straight up asked him, "you don't want to see me anymore do you?". Of course he didn't. He even had the audacity to get mad at me when I got upset on the phone.
ReplyDeletePoint is, we all meet losers like this in life. It doesn't matter how much you put into a relationship when the other person has already decided they don't want it anymore, and we always know deep down when its over. I don't think there is a point in ever 'hanging on' or waiting for someone to 'come around' when they clearly show us that they don't give a fuck. When you know what you're worth, you stop putting up with people's shit.
As for being a 'relationship person', I feel you on that. I am too, and thankfully, so is my bf now, so that works out well. I haven't ever found the fulfillment that i need just by hooking up. I want the partner, the one that shares moments with me, laughs, arguments, making up, watching tv...all that. Some people are happy being single and living life that way, and that's cool coz it works for them. Me, I like being in a relationship. When I was 23 and just getting a taste of what the world was about( ie when i came out), I was always told by people that I was young and that there is so much out there...which irked me. No doubt that experience teaches us much in life, but i found it a tad patronizing. Anyway, its five years later now, and from dating 2 duds, I know what i want from my current partner, and it makes me appreciate him all the more. I believe that the fuckwits we meet in life serve to make us appreciate the good people we have all the more.
You obviously do deserve better... you didn't need this guy to tell you THAT. What a cop out! Like, is that meant to make you feel better? What do u even do with that besides agree? Seriously, some people are the biggest bitches. And Bi? Alright then. Lets see how many more guys he hits with that one.
Good riddance I say. As for wanting to hit stuff... do you have a punching bag? In all seriousness, things can only get better, however, in the meantime, just concentrate on healing from this.
25 years? I thought you had 20 years old. i love your posts. hans hoffman is very ripped I'd like to see him beff. lee priest is beautiful but unfortunately he´s full of tatoos on his body.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI was going through old bookmarks on Chrome and clicked on this. I've been reading the progress of your time w\Buck. Just repeating in my head why do all gay dating relationships have the name RMS TITANIC on them ? I'm reading along the progress, fuckin knowing what it was leading to. The sentences where you say he didn't do anything for my bday & his bro was in the ICU but I had to find out on Facebook. I was telling you in my head IT'S NOT PARANOIA! YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!
Then the blow of blows... "You deserve someone better than me..." I'll end my comment here because that has GOT to be my unfavourite line of all time...
I had to get this offa my chest and vent a bit. I want to come back to this to read your relationship entries in toto.
Cheers,
Jonno