Starting to think about the next one

I'm starting to think about the next guy I may or may not end up with. What I mean is that I'm thinking about what I want out of the next guy I get in a relationship with, assuming I get into one at all. There are a lot of things that I try to avoid thinking about (age, height, weight, build, basically anything physical), and other things I try to think about. For one I need a guy that isn't attached to me at the hip. A guy that will call me out on some of the bullshit I deal with. One thing with Bear is that he was very passive. Then when he did try to get involved he got way over involved. I say things like I don't like how I look. His response would be, "oh you are so sexy, you should wear tighter clothes to show off your body, there isn't anything for you to be ashamed up, I'm the ugly one." That may sound all fine and dandy to some of you, but for me it didn't address what I said or make me feel secure. What I need is simply a firm, "babe you are sexy. Just deal with it. It's one of the many things I love about you." The difference being that he has said he finds me sexy along with saying there are other things he loves about me besides my body. He made it a clear fact. He didn't try to make me wear something that he knows I hate doing to show off. Bear would want me in tight clothes (which I feel I have no business ever wearing), but get super jealous if a guy looked at me. 

Basically I need a guy that will take the time to learn about me. Not just think he knows me. A guy that will challenge me to become better. That can understand when to stop pushing. I admit I'm a picky eater, but Bear took it upon himself to force me to try new things. That's not how I work. Order something and just ask me to take a bite. If I say no move on. I'll eventually ask to take a bite. Bear would force me to try it and thus make me hate whatever it was. My mom use to make me do that with burgers. I hated burgers, but I had to eat three bites no matter how sickening it was for me. Yes Bear knew about that. 

I just need a grounded guy. For the most part I'm grounded, but when I get off I can either fix myself or get worse. If I feel I can't I reach out and I just need someone to listen and hold my hand. I need a partner emotionally as well as physically. I'll take my time to learn you and what you want. Need the same.