Got it

I finally figured out what was bothering me so much. Besides the pro-hormone. We are spending way too much time together. Today we didn't clash at all. He went off to work early and when we end up working together we weren't killing each other. I mean I look back on it and I really haven't ever lived with someone else besides my family. Plus most people don't work with their boyfriends or girlfriends. If they do they work separate shifts or don't live together yet. I mean I've basically lived with him since I moved up here. Yes I had my own apartment, but I was rarely in there. I was always at his place. Then we start working together and we move in together. I don't get a lot of me alone time. That's why I've been jumping down his throat so much. I think also another reason was that I was so pent up. I did my typical Wednesday morning edging and wow when I finally shot that was a huge load. So all those factors made me a little pissy at my boyfriend. I think we are going to talk when I get home. I'm sure he knows that I need some space and he's been trying to respect it. I think it's just time for a talk. Our anniversary is tomorrow and I need to get this off my chest so we can have a good one.
I was e-mailing my friend this morning and we got talking about this boy who he has kinda taken under his wing. My friend's son use to be friends with this guy. He always said he was bi. He has a three year old daughter. Anyway he got in contact with my friend and they started talking and he came out to him. He said I'm gay. I don't like women anymore. So my friend has kinda become his big gay brother. Honestly I think that's what all of us gay guys needed. I think the ones of us that turned out relatively normal had someone to look up to. I think those are the type that won't be the flaming type of gay. I know I had one, but he was flakey. I then brought in 3 others. Each focusing on a different part of the gay life. the funny thing about a gay mentor is that I swear there has to be a sexual attraction for it to really work. I know in all my cases I was attracted to them. I think it made me more receptive to them and got me to talk more. In this day in age when so many of us are committing suicide we can't turn our backs on each other. It's a pretty awesome feeling knowing that your helping someone through a difficult time.