One day closer

I'm one day closer to being with Coach and honestly it couldn't come at a better time. I have been so horny lately. I don't know if it's because my body is prepping itself for a fun weekend or if it's the new pre-workout I'm taking. Maybe it's a combo of the two, but every morning I've had to edge. The store is opening up an hour later so I get an hour to myself and well that leads to my dick getting into my hand.When I get horny and I edge for long enough I long for human companionship and contact. That's normally the time where I say fuck it and cum. Well not this time. I'm trying to hold out for Saturday and it's getting harder by the hour. I'm sure it would help if I stop looking at porn, but I like to look at porn when I edge. It gives me ideas. I'm also looking for possible videos to share with Coach. We aren't to the stage where we are watching porn together, but I'm a planner. I like to plan things ahead.
I'm also trying to muddle through this week. This morning there was something foul in the air. At first I thought it was the staff at my apartment building turning fallen leaves in to mulch, but it wasn't just at my apartment building. It was in the air at the store and even at the bank. Then it started to mess with my allergies and my sinuses started acting up. Now that I'm inside I'm fine, but I'm wonder what that was about. Feeling like crap doesn't help me get through a day. Especially cause it's hard to tell if it's just sinus or allergies and nothing something else. I mean me and Coach are going to be spending a lot of close time together.

In other news I was talking to a friend of mine who recently moved back to California. We never met, but he was up here in Wisconsin for awhile. There was a guy he dated and it didn't end well. I haven't asked for details (because it isn't my place to), but he's back in California now. He was telling me about his gym and I can honestly say I'm a little envious. He works out at a pretty much 95% gay gym. I made a joke about how he must constantly be working out with a boner and he said sometimes. I then said I bet you need a very tight jock and he said nope. That of course amazes me because he has pretty much the same problem I do. A dick that is pretty much always visible. When I get a boner everyone knows. Just ask Coach. I'm amazed that he could even focus like that. I wouldn't last 2 minutes there. You see even now I get embarrassed by my boners. I don't know why it is, but I do. I feel like all eyes are on me when I'm boned up. Hell even when I'm with coach I feel myself turn a little red when I get a boner. We were driving in his car 2 weekends ago and I kept boning up and I just kept trying to hide it. Now if I act like that with my own boyfriend you can imagine how I am with other gay guys I don't know. So glad I don't have to worry about it cause as soon as my gym membership is done (in June) I won't have to worry about renewing it or finding a new gym cause Coach has his own home gym.

Hump day

It's hump day today. I'm not has hyper as I was yesterday. Did want to stay in bed this morning, but that's because I was tossing and turning most of the night. Horny plus trying to sleep does not help. Yes I could have jacked off, but I am a man of will power. I said I'd save it all for Coach and that's what I'm going to do. Which is kinda starting to back fire. My musk is starting to become a little over powering. I know it's because of the back up in testosterone. It's great for my workouts not so much for anyone that wants to be around me in the morning. I think Coach will be in trouble come Saturday. Other than that not too much going on. Yesterday was uneventful and today is senior day so I can't spend too much time trying to blog. I did get a weird question on my formspring:
"Do you like violently bearhugging people?"
Normally I can post my answer and the question on blogger, but looks like formspring has changed that and is no longer shaking hands with blogger so I have to post it myself. The answer is no I don't like to violently bear hug someone. I will give bear hugs to those I care about deeply though. Like my dads or Coach. It certainly isn't a violent one.

I got this pic from gods among men over there in the side bar. This picture disturbed me a bit. The reason being is his forehead. Not a single visible wrinkle even if you zoom in. Almost as if it was retouched (probably was) or he had quite a lot of botax. I'm 24 and even I have some forehead lines. Plus I also have a problem with paragonmen. A paragon is basically the standard for perfection. Well no one is perfect and to present guys that they feel are perfect to the rest of us doesn't help our self esteem. I have no problem with shaved guys, but I like body hair. I'm not focused on a guy with a 6 pack cause that's a guy who has a very strict diet so it's hard to go out with him, but that's just me and my opinion. The point of putting out pictures like this is to have these models who have an unrealistic quality.

This is the final part of a scene with Alexsander Frietas and Craig Reynolds. It's from the movie Major Asshole. It's a very hot scene. I happen to have it on my comp. There is a lot of gut and chest punching. It's a very masculine scene. It's a scene I can easily watch from start to finish and that's saying something cause I skip ahead almost all the time.

This is a comic strip from adamandandy.com. As you can see you'll have to click on it to be able to read everything or just go on over to that site. I found this fitting this week. My b-day was Oct 1st and that's when this was updated. Now I wouldn't make Coach dress up as a butler, but he would be servicing me in one way or another wink wink nudge nudge.

Finally this is Trey Walker. He was the bottom in the scene with Paul Barbaro. I think that's the right Paul. It's another scene I was able to watch from start to finish. I came many times to that scene. I love guys with pierced nipples. I've been with a few that have had them done. It's one way to drive a guy wild. He also kinda reminds me of one of my dads. He also has his nipples pierced and is about the same build as Trey here. And don't be fooled by my dad's small size. If he gets you in a leg lock you are not getting out.

Quite energetic

Today I'm quite full of pep. And as such I have so many things to talk about. So I guess I should start from the beginning.

This morning I started on a new pre-workout. Well it isn't really new. I've had it before. It's a different one than I was using yesterday. The thing about this product is that it causes my mind to be razor sharp. I was focusing on the music I was listening too, while feeling every rep I did, and thinking about what to post here. All three at the exact same time. Usually when I'm lifting my mind registers that I'm listening to music, but I don't really hear it until I'm done lifting. This time I heard every single word. It's so weird. Plus when I was doing my cool down bike ride usually my heart rate is about 147 bpm. Today it was 137 bpm which is low for me after a leg workout. I got to the apartment and my mind just wouldn't shut off. Then I started to get horny. Let's just say if Coach was at my apartment we would have been fucking. And I probably could have cum twice in a row. I'll be taking it Saturday and Sunday so he better watch out. Think this weekend is the weekend he's going to have trouble keeping up with me. Normally I don't feel the need to play with myself, but I had to today. Didn't cum cause I had to be at work early, but man would it have been nice.
This morning I had to be on the radio promoting the store so I couldn't be late. And tomorrow I sadly have to be in early for senior day too. Well I guess I shouldn't say sadly. It will keep me from edging which makes it a better chance I'll last until Saturday. The radio spots went well. The DJ who did the spot with me and the rep from the station said I did a fantastic job. They always say I do a good job. I always wonder how much of it is b/s and how much of it is true. I mean who wants to say to someone wow you sucked it up. Obviously they wouldn't say it like that, but you see my point. I just always wonder about that type of stuff.

The other thing I was thinking about this morning is my body image. My overall goal is to be about 185lbs, but I'm afraid to really go for it. Coach will stand by me and help me do it when I'm ready, but I'm so hard on myself body wise that I'm just paralyzed. As you can see Coach is going for the powerlifter look and I'm very much into that. He has made it clear that if I go up to 185 or stay at 165 he will still love me and find me attractive. My problem is that I'm not comfortable with a belly. I mean I'm not looking for a 6 pack or anything, but my stomach has to be kinda flat. Basically I'm not at that age where I'm ok not having a 6 pack or being ok with having a muscle gut like a power lifter. I'm thinking about this because Coach has that look and it looks great on him. I just don't know if I'm ready to go there just yet. I guess I really don't know what I want my body to look like so I don't really have a goal just yet. I want to be muscular and will put in the work to look like that, but I'm not willing to starve myself and diet endlessly to get a chiseled 6 pack. I am only 24 and I know that's one reason why I'm so into my looks. The only time I don't worry about it is when I'm with Coach and he holds me and kisses me. It's the only time it feels like I can be happy with myself.
I sadly have more things I could talk about, but don't want this blog post getting too long today. Do have a song that I think is appropriate for today. It's called Afrodisiac. No that isn't a misspelling. That's how the song is spelled. I think it's safe to say it fits how I feel about Coach sexually. I've done a lot of songs that have displayed my emotions. I think I'm allowed to play one that's a little dirty.