Evolution is a must

Tomorrow is my over night date with Coach and I'm super happy. For multiple reasons. The reasons all center around one thing really and that's change. You got to embrace it or you'll be left behind.

The first is that I updated my iPhone's software yesterday and it's pretty cool. It moves a lot faster and has a feature that I really like. I get e-mails on my phone, but with the new software you can actually set people as your VIP contacts. E-mails from this person will automatically be pulled into a separate section making them easier to find. Needless to say Coach is the only VIP contact I have. So not only can I stop guessing as to when Coach sends me something, I actually get notifications letting me know he e-mailed me. That is pretty nice. Sometimes when I have my computer up, I have a tab for the e-mails, but I only check it every now and again. Now I know the second I get an e-mail from Coach so I can respond quickly. If I hadn't updated my software I wouldn't have found that neat little feature.
I also learned how to finally save voicemails on my iPhone. Well I should say from my iPhone. If you have one you know that your phone will delete voicemails older than 30 days. Normally this didn't bother me, but I do like to hear Coach's voice every now and again. Not to mention I'd like to have them just to have. So instead of trying to look at my phone for answers I googled it. I can say I now have Coach's voicemails on my hard drive. Now I just have to put them somewhere for safe keeping just in case something happens to my comp. Better safe than sorry.
The big reason why I'm happy is that me and Coach's relationship is evolving. It's getting more stable and we are getting more comfortable with each other. We both aren't trying to hide things from the other. We embrace each other's past. I was talking to him on the phone yesterday and he had mention that he needed to tell me about one of his past lovers. I said I'd love to hear about it. I could hear the smile over the phone. He's been with guys in the past that just don't want to hear about that stuff. I understand not wanting to hear about your bf's exes on the first date, but you can't ignore someone's past. They are an ex for a reason. Talking about them won't make your bf suddenly fall in love with them again. Plus it works both ways when you think about it. Yet all that isn't the best part. The best part is that we are spending the night together tomorrow. Yes we've done that before, but I have a feeling that this time is going to be different. We both are secure in each other. I'm finally past that mental road block that wouldn't let me be happy until a month had past. And Coach did really well on his tests so we have even more reason to celebrate and be happy.
The last thing on this topic is basically Ted. I'm not going to say what I am to make you guys dislike Ted even more than you already do, but more as a topic of conversation. It's something that we all need to think about. Especially in the dating world. Ted expressed his feelings about me staying over at Coach's last night. He expressed that he felt it was too soon. He has old fashioned values of only sleeping with someone you love. He was worried that if Coach ever said he loved me (I haven't told him that we have both said we love each other because well it's Ted and he's not ready to hear that yet) it would probably because I'm good in bed. Ok wait that last part didn't come out right. He said I'm a gentle and passionate lover and that he's afraid Coach would feel that and then say he loves me for a superficial reason. Ok that sounds a little better. Well after he pouted for a bit he finished the night saying he isn't my keeper and that he's sorry if what he said hurt me (it didn't). He just feels sad over what I'm doing. So here is where my limited empathy comes in. Basically Ted is throwing the straight view on sex into a gay relationship. He grew up with the view that you have sex (with a woman) only after you are married. Well that doesn't work in gay relationships because (wait for it) us same sex couples can't get married in a lot of states. So that argument kinda gets thrown out the window.

It's putting straight logic into a gay relationship that is his problem. He's got to evolve. I'm not saying he should fuck every guy that smiles at him or go into a porn store and suck every guy off at a glory hole. I'm saying that he has to understand that two guys are more sexually charged than a guy and a girl or 2 girls. Our genitalia is on the outside. It's very easy stimulated and is based off of sight. We gay men have to do a very delicate balancing act. If a relationship is based off of sex alone then it won't survive. If we have a relationship on just emotion with no sex it affects our self esteem and eventually leads to finding something that is physical. Ted is right he isn't my keeper and he's not in my head. I love Coach and Coach loves me. If I felt he was just using me for sex then we wouldn't have come this far. We wouldn't e-mail and talk on the phone and on bear everyday. We wouldn't be content just snuggling or holding each other. He wouldn't be telling all his friends and family about me and I wouldn't be doing the same. I know that there is more there and so does Coach and that's all that matters. Hopefully some guy can open up Ted's mind. If not then that's fault for not evolving. Evolution is a part of life. Either you evolve or you get left in the dust with all the predators.