Expectations

So one of my issues is that I put expectations on everyone. Even if I want to admit it or not. The closer the person is to me the higher the expectations. I learned this today when I hurt a friend pretty bad. It's also because I can't just think logically some days. He hurt me Tuesday and I tried to let it go, but couldn't. Well after a long talk the thing is I put expectations on everything. The reason is because I need to plan. Planning gives me some sort of control which reduces the high level of anxiety that I have all the time.
Basically I need to plan for nothing. That way I'm still planning, but lowering my expectations even more. Hell even planning for cuddling leads me to be disappointed. I guess it's so much easier to be disappointed then to get happy from my expectations and then expect that. Going to take time and practice. Sadly I don't think I can ever out grow this. And that is a really low expectation.