Well I tired

Yesterday I decided to send Coach an e-mail. I hadn't seen him on bear so I figured he was really busy and stressing or he quit bear. Well I e-mailed him to see how he was doing. It started off pleasant then well he looked for a fight. Basically he questioned why I e-mailed, why the change, why don't my friends and dads want to talk to him, and something else. Well after a few back and forths basically he said I'm going to be a lonely 45 year old since I run from every relationship and will leave a ton of heart break and I should get tested annually. The funny thing is that my only real regret about the whole exchange is I didn't get mean. Oh I could have said exactly why my dads stopped talking to him. Told him already exactly why my friends won't talk to him. He just alienated me when I was just simply trying to reach out. Kinda makes it hard to regret the decision to not be with him anymore. It's that temper and that quick to pick a fight attitude that lead to the break up. I knew it wasn't going to be easy us going to just being friends, but we didn't have to be enemies. That black and white you are with me or against me mentally just leaves you pretty alone. Ned and his boyfriend pulled away because they were being forced to defend Ted and suffer Coach's wraith (and possibly mine) or agree and feel disloyal to Ted so they pulled back. My dad's obviously were not going to chose to side with Coach over me. Plus one of my dad's actually was starting to like him less and less the more they chatted. He and Ned both saw that Coach was being very dominating and alpha malish and didn't like it. Sadly my dad didn't warn me about this when I asked him for his honest opinion, but he just wanted me to be happy. Well just goes to show I'm taking it slow. And as I've said time and time again, I don't understand the need to hate an ex. I get it can be hard to be friends, but why go out of your way to hurt them when they are just trying to extend an olive branch? Even for the guys that hurt me the most I never said or did anything to make sure they felt hurt. If anything I find that moving on is the best way to hurt anyone. I treat it like it just didn't work out. Yes it's unhealthy, but it does get me to a healthy place where it doesn't hurt.
In other news tomorrow is the big disc golf day. And again my hopes aren't too high for what will or won't happen. Just going there to have a good time. I'm not expecting a dinner out of the deal. Really I'm just looking forward to being with someone close to my own age. Plus I'm not talking to someone in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship with me i.e. Ted, Ned, and Ned's boyfriend. I haven't told Ted yet (I know I'm terrible), but just hard to tell him that I rather hang out with someone my own age then him. I know I'm so easily guilted. Need to work on that.

Weird

So I get onto yim this morning to find I got 2 messages while I was offline. One came from a guy I talk to everyday. The other was one I didn't recognize. I simply replied hello and expected no response since it was sent at 4:30 am. Well he responded and I truly tried to rack my brain to figure out who he was. Then it hit me. Remember that guy that bit me all the time? The one who went on one date with me then decided we should be friends and then unfriended me and stop talking to me. Well he just wanted to say hi ask how I'm doing and that's pretty much it. I told my friend who knows him and he said "yeah he messaged me a few days ago and asked if I had seen you lately. I just told him we talk here and there". What is it with guys that I use to go out with. He didn't want to date me or be friends with me so why talk to me or talk about me? And it's not just him either. Scott did it and so did John. In fact I couldn't sleep last night so I got on grindr and he messaged me. All throughout the week he has checked out my growlr, my manhunt, and i'm sure my grindr. He can't give me this bullshit that he wants to be friends cause when we were he treated me shitty. I sure can pick them can't I?
In other news my saturday disc golf game has been moved to Sunday. I didn't ask him why he wanted to move it, but like I said I'm not getting my hopes up too high about anything. Will say unlike a lot of guys he didn't wait until the last minute and has said he would text me if he gets out early or late. More than I get from most. Plus he does actually answer his texts. At the very least I might have a new friend.
Other than that nothing really special going on in my head. Do think that this test booster is doing it's job. Seems like I've packed on a bit of muscle. I think after this cycle I'll take the week off like they suggest and do another cycle. I'll also be throwing in a nitric oxide booster as well. See how all that goes. Who knows I might get up to 170 and not feel like a bloated whale like last time.

The weekend is closer

So Saturday is almost upon us. Saturday is the day I'm going to play disc golf with the guy I met last week. I actually found him on facebook. Turns out that he's actually 3 years older than me. Going to show that manhunt doesn't self update your age even though they ask for your b-day. Can say I'm honestly looking forward to this. Just something fun to do. If we decide to do more then we do more, but right now looks like only disc golf and some teasing. I think I'll be lucky if I get to kiss him. He's also 6' 1" which means that I'll be doing a bit of looking up. I don't have any problem with being with a taller guy, but it does make me very aware that I'm short. So it should be nice. The week has been going decent and I can't complain. We will see how long it last once Ted figures out that I'm hanging out with another guy. Hence why I haven't kept my hopes too high.

This is me wearing the undershirt to my scrubs yesterday. Someone (Adam) seemed to like it so I figured why not post it here. As you can see my nipples are visible which is pretty much the case always. That's why I don't like wearing tight clothes.

I was born in the year of the dragon so I kinda have a little fascination with dragons. Needless to say that's not the only reason why I like this picture. I wonder what the context of this photo is. I'm wondering if someone asked to see the rest of his tattoo or did he need to take a piss right there. From the lack of women and no one caring it looks like it's some gay event.